chopchopmoo

i get shit done. (not. haha.)

2011-04-02T23:56:00.003-05:00

i put more pictures up on my walls today.
added some to my desk and frames too.
i'm so productive, right? hahaha.
my walls still have a lot of room left to fill but i only have a month left of school so i'm not too worried.
i need to get a print for my g.k. chesterton quote - the five photos and one notecard that says "thing," haha. that's not permanent - that notecard will be a photo like the others as soon as i get my snapfish shipment in.

ignore the fact that my bed is a disaster, haha.

wah.

2011-03-28T12:16:00.000-05:00

i am done with this whole mood swing thing.

i hate being emo, which keeps happening.

mmm.

2011-02-27T13:27:00.002-06:00

recently, my breakfast has consisted of an apple and some almond butter.

it's not the prettiest snack in the world, but it's sooo tasty. i could live off of it, for sure. at least until i run out of apples (i only have one left)...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ainsleem/

polaroids.

2011-02-19T19:09:00.002-06:00

i hope that by the time i have kids, polaroid film won't be so expensive.

i want to be able to give my kids an old polaroid camera with a 10 pack of prints and see what happens, even if they're the shittiest pictures ever.

i can't decide whether this came from me reminiscing about my shitty old film camera from when i was little or from my desperation that my kids won't experience any of the same tangible gorgeous things from the pre-digital era.

old pictures, new edits.

2011-02-18T11:51:00.001-06:00

my flickr

technology.

2011-01-06T15:00:00.001-06:00

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/111745/things-babies-born-in-2011-will-never-know?mod=family-kids_parents

This might honestly be one of the saddest things I've read this year.

I have recently decided that as technology evolves, we devolve. I love the internet and digital cameras and my iPad, but I miss libraries and film and reading. I am going to miss book stores and magazines and video tapes and CDs. The technology just can't replace those in my mind.

My kids are going to miss out on so much. Sad. :(

winter break.

2010-12-18T02:07:00.000-06:00

so i have officially finished my first semester as a college student.

it's funny, really, because i was so worried about starting school. terrified, even.

and i mean, it hasn't been as scary as i thought it would be. i had a good first few months - hiking, joking around, taking ridiculous pictures, going to parties. but when i realized that the friends i thought i had were really... not people i wanted to be hanging out with, things went downhill. actually, i was unhappy even before that.

once i removed them from my life, i was significantly happier, although a tiny bit lonelier. i have moved from having an admittedly small group of friends to one friend. i mean, i hang out with her friends too, and i'm friendly with kids around, but it's weird.

the academics have been both easier and harder than i imagined. i didn't realize they graded so easily, but i also didn't realize that "weather and atmosphere" was going to be so difficult to understand.

it hasn't been bad, per se, but it has been interesting.

i feel like i've learned a lot about my self from the social experiences i've had so far - i feel like once i'm friends with someone, i have to continue to be friends with them; i am sometimes uncomfortable around people i don't know because i'm used to knowing everyone, etc. etc.

anyway, i'm really looking forward to next semester, when i get to meet new people, make new friends, take new classes, meet my new roommate. it should be interesting.

in the meantime.....

hmmm.

2010-05-25T11:10:00.002-05:00

my life is being run by flickr.
i am beginning to decide to go places because i think it will be fun to take pictures there. whaaaat.
haha.
it's been five days since i've updated my flickr photostream and now i am dying to take more pictures. i don't know what's wrong with me. :)

procrastination.

2010-04-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

there are so many things i'd rather do than read my government chapters.
i could take pictures or read blogs or watch house and parenthood on hulu or look at the most recent uploads on flickr or pretend i'm doing homework or play path pix pro on my ipod touch or shower or finish addressing my graduation announcements or wash my face or summarize science articles or read a magazine that i don't even like.
but i really should just read for government...

flickr.

2010-04-22T23:51:00.002-05:00

i'm officially obsessed with flickr.
bahhh.
<3

heart.

2010-04-13T21:06:00.001-05:00

sundays.

2010-04-04T23:54:00.000-05:00

after a few mini-meltdowns about college and graduation and what the hell i'm ever going to do with a journalism degree (all courtesy of the interrogation by family friends this weekend), i think i'm going to be okay.
i have the next four years to worry about what i'm going to do with my life.

and i have the next ... 53 days to worry about passing calculus.

umm.

2010-04-04T23:14:00.002-05:00

i have a text message that i should probably read, but my phone is charging seven feet away and checking that text requires me to get out of bed, move my computer, take my earbuds out, and actually WALK over to my phone.
so not worth it.

... so i got up and checked and it's a facebook update.

REALLY?
REALLY!?

college.

2010-03-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

now that i know where i'm going to college, all i ever hear about is what i need to do now to prepare for next fall.

sororitiesfootballticketshousingmealplansmajorsparentsweekend

i'm not even done with high school yet, and college is already freaking me out.

it seems like the closer it gets to graduation, the less excited i am for college.
college is scary, obviously, but i'm been perceiving it as this huge change.
when maybe all it really is is a different version of high school.

2010-02-10T21:52:00.002-06:00

Today, my math teacher told me that he hadn't realized how unhappy I was until he saw me taking yearbook pictures at the pep rally. Because I was smiling.

Yeah, yearbook is stressful, but it genuinely makes me happy.
Math does not.

google translate

2010-01-27T18:25:00.002-06:00

I suddenly just got incredibly excited to go see Motion City Soundtrack in February. I've been meaning to make a mix CD of their songs for a while, but kept forgetting, until I finally had a lot of work to do, which meant that I would be procrastinating, which meant new mix CDs and lots of Desperate Housewives episodes.

Speaking of which, I now have three brand new still slightly warm mix CDs waiting to be thrown in my car. And I haven't studied for either of my tests yet. Unless you count Quia, which I kind of do, since it makes me use Spanish. Even if I do usually cheat.

:)

Also, I like that Juan translates to John in Google Translate.

mmm.

2010-01-16T21:00:00.003-06:00

This is going to sound stupid, because it is, but sometimes, looking back on the friends I've made in D.C. or China, I feel like the annoying one that everyone always tries to get rid of, but can't. I mean, I don't know if it was actually like that, because I've always felt close to the people I've met, but sometimes when I'm looking at Facebook and all, I'm like "do these people ever want to talk to me again?"

Bah, it's so lame. I think I'm just being insecure, especially since I do still talk to some of them. But still. :(

Sometimes it's so much more awkward over Facebook or texting or whatever than it is in person, and maybe that's why I feel like that, but I don't know. Bah.

I miss people.

2010

2010-01-03T22:52:00.003-06:00

So in 145 days, I'll be a high school graduate. (Finally!) I am incredibly excited to be done with high school forever. I like the people, but I'm more than happy to leave everything else behind. I've been at this school for fifteen years, which is practically an eternity, as I'm only seventeen.

To be honest, I'm horrified just as much as I'm excited. Leaving the only school I've ever known will be almost as weird as leaving home. Graduating means that I'll be heading off to college next year, living on my own, hundreds of miles (at least) from my parents.

2010, a year I've vowed to make fantastic, means a new school, new friends, a new city. It's scary in an exciting way, and I obviously have eight months to get over that fear, but it still scares me a little.

Mmmm.

I thought about blogging everyday in 2010, but the odds of that actually happening are very slim.

Maybe once a week.

I just feel like I'm not living in the moment at all.

How cheesy does that sound?
But I really do want to experience this year.

research papers.

2009-10-07T22:12:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting on my bed in the dark, drinking tea, working on my research paper on Anne Tyler, and having a conversation on Facebook with one of my friends and two freshmen. My tea's getting kind of cold and is slightly too sweet, but it's still good, and I'm starting to get kind of sleepy. I'm in the zone for working on my paper though which is probably why I'm actually DOING it instead of slacking off.

Gah.

lunch fiascos.

2009-10-02T17:10:00.001-05:00

Today started off pretty badly. I still don't understand calculus, despite somehow making a 93 on our latest test (with a 15 point curve). My English test was terrible - I only knew two of the questions out of twelve that we had to choose five from. I made up stuff so maybe I'll get partial credit, but I'm 99.99% sure I got an F on that test. Spanish was just boring.

I wasn't entirely excited about the day in general at this point, but everyone else was excited to go to Subway for off campus lunch. I didn't really want Subway anymore, but figured it'd all be okay. Nadia and I got our lunch passes 40 minutes early and essentially rushed everyone into getting to the car as fast as possible - this probably saved our asses, too. We (literally) all ran down to the parking lot and had a mild crisis over who was riding with whom before zipping out of the parking lot and speeding to the street it was on. Most of us - the ones who didn't know where Subway was - were expecting it to be pretty close, because we'd had a discussion about how far away the two nearest Subways were and which we were going to. It took fifteen minutes of driving down a parkway just to get there. With our 45 minute lunch break, we couldn't really afford to spend thirty minutes driving back and forth. Irritated, we pull into Subway, jump out, and practically run into the place.

And there's a line. A huge line of at least twelve people, one of which is running back and forth from the counter to the parking lot to ask his girlfriend what kind of cheese she wants on her sub. After waiting in line for all of four seconds, we all decide to go tell Katie - who drove herself - that we have to go somewhere else. Nadia and I seriously consider running into the sketchy pub next door before everyone else freaks out and we realize that it's closed. Someone makes decides that we're going to the McDonalds a block away so we jump back in the car to head through the drive thru. After I almost get in a car wreck by making a probably illegal turn, we zip into the drive thru after Katie.

This is where it gets complicated. We've avoided drive thrus because there are so many of us and we're all paying separately. But we don't really have a choice today - we simply don't have a lot of time. Katie takes about five seconds to get her order through, and I'm frantically trying to get everyone's order while Nadia's frantically trying to collect money. The recording about iced lattes plays and I say, "No, thank you," despite knowing that the person ready to take my order hasn't asked me anything yet. Suddenly, Vedanti realizes that she can't really eat anything because she's a vegetarian, and McDonalds is like meat and bread, no matter what you order.

"Um, can I get 4 chicken nugget mighty kids meals?" I ask the guy on the other end once he welcomes us to McDonalds and all that jazz, while the back seat discusses Vedanti's food order. Things are going smoothly so far, so I feel slightly more confident. M.E. and Whitney demand sweet and sour sauce so I ask for some - twice. We're trying to rush so I quickly ask the car what drinks they want as we neglected to discuss that part. After determining that Nadia and I want Dr. Pepper, Whitney wants Sprite, and M.E. wants apple juice, we order those without any issues. Then I venture onto the vegetarian burger, which we've decided Vedanti is getting.

Unsure if the order will translate well, I ask, "Can I also get a cheeseburger mighty kids meal without the meat?"

The guy taking our order punches in a regular hamburger. "Is that all?"

"No, we need a CHEESEburger without the meat."

I've confused him now and I go about trying to explain it without confusing him further. After about two minutes of rewording the order and unintentionally raising my voice as I get more frantic about how much time we have left, my phone starts ringing. I throw it in the backseat, asking someone to answer it and talk to her. M.E. answers it, and I go back to negotiating with the guy. After a few more seconds, Nadia yells, "We need a cheeseburger, hold the meat, everything else on it!"

He FINALLY gets the picture and punches in "1 CHEESEBURGER - NO RG MEAT," and we all sigh with relief. We realize we haven't gotten Vedanti a drink yet, and irritated with how long this has taken, I yell, "We need one more small sprite too!"

For some reason, that translates as a Coke. We argue about this for a while before Nadia yells, "SPRITE."

He's gotten everything and reads everything off as we're sitting there waiting. We're all getting pretty impatient, and Katie's parked to wait for us to get through, probably wondering what the HELL is going on. He's getting to the part where he tells us how much it'll cost, but there are people behind me and I'm annoyed, so I just say loudly, "Okay, thanks, we're pulling up to the window now, bye!"

We pay, but he gives us a dollar back because in all the commotion, we've apparently given him too much money. That or he just doesn't want to have to give us 3 cent change and just takes the 97 cents off the charge. I apologize to him over the loud car, and he smiles like he's laughing at us and says that it's okay, but I'm sure he hates his job more than he already did now. We pull up to the second window to get our food and - THANK GOD - the meals are ready just as we get there. I throw the four kids meals into Nadia's lap and the sack with the burger in it back to Vedanti; the guy working there hands me the drinks in a drink holder thing and I am so eternally grateful for how efficient and ready he was. He closes the window and ready to drive off, I ask everyone if we got everything before realizing we only have four drinks for five people.

"My apple juice!" M.E. exclaims loudly, just as he opens the window again to hand a juice box out. I literally chuck it in the backseat, thank him quickly, and speed away as Katie's backing out of her parking spot. Everything seems to be going good after all. Then M.E. realizes that there isn't any sweet and sour sauce and Vedanti realizes they put meat on their burger after we yelled at the guy for at least five minutes.

At this point, M.E. eats Vedanti's meat patty and Nadia feeds me french fries and holds my drink for me while I speed back to school with just about 20 minutes to spare. We got back to class on time and with cute cheap stuffed toys to show for our adventure. :)

sigh.

2009-09-18T16:39:00.001-05:00

Liking a Miley Cyrus song is slightly demeaning, even though I don't really care what people think about what I listen to usually. She's the one artist that I'm embarrassed of, and I only like ONE song by her. Sad.

I'm not meant to go to sports games.
Sigh.

sunday.

2009-09-13T11:02:00.003-05:00

I really really really don't want to do my homework. Namely English.
Which is kind of odd because it's usually math I really don't want to do.
But I'm having trouble finding sources for Anne Tyler's Dinner at a Homesick Restaurant and Breathing Lessons.

It's officially been 2 hours and I have indeed finished my English. Whoo! Now I just have my math homework, which I've already completed half of.
However, I think I may go eat some salty M&Ms and popcorn kernels or an Oreo funstix before starting in on that. Also, I would like to finish that episode of Psych that I forgot to finish forever ago. :)

Today's been relatively stress freeeeee. I even finished my photo assignment already, at like 10. Which was like within thirty minutes of when I woke up. Yay!

So far it's been a pretty good Sunday, despite not feeling all that great.

2009-09-07T19:18:00.001-05:00

Realizing that I get absolutely nothing out of my classes is a little sad.

12 years at school, and I've learned mundane things but absolutely nothing worthwhile.

why isn't it sunday yet? :)

2009-09-04T19:06:00.002-05:00

So I just prepped four books to release "into the wild" for BookCrossing.com, which I'm really quite excited about. It's really not a big deal at ALL, but I was really amused by the whole thing.

Honestly, that's all I had to say.
Haha!

do you remember when?

2009-09-02T19:21:00.002-05:00

As weird as it sounds, I really miss China.

I was only there for two weeks, but I really miss the people I met and the places I saw and just the overall atmosphere of the trip. I think this is a result of a) sharing horror airport stories (14 hour flight followed by a lonely 11 hour layover during which I cried three times in public), b) reading my wall-to-wall conversation with one of my best friends from the trip who I really miss, and c) watching the video I made upon returning home. I still find myself talking about it whenever I get the chance, and I view that as the best part of my summer, hands down. I am excited to see my friends again, even if it is a year from now. If that reunion we talked about (haha) doesn't happen, I think I'll actually be pretty upset about it.

Anyway. I didn't really have homework today, although I told myself I would work on my Spanish homework. Actually, I'm gonna start that right now, just in case. I'm also supposed to finish an economics worksheet, but that should be easy, even though supply is more confusing than demand. I just remembered that I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow. Oh well. I'll probably do okay without studying too much, and even if I don't, I've done well on enough that I don't need to worry that much.

I'm lazy today.

And I definitely just got a 57% on one of my Spanish assignments. Whoo for forgetting accents and switching vowels.

I really should take a shower and read or something, but I think I'll probably play The Sims 3 for slightly too long and then end up not getting enough sleep. Like I usually do.

... I am so lame. :D

Listening to: Rainbow Veins by Owl City, Volcano by Jimmy Buffet, Never There by Cake, Maybe, This Time by OK Go, On the Wing by Owl City, Is There No Truth in Beauty? by Just Surrender

puppies.

2009-08-26T17:18:00.002-05:00

I start making mix CDs for my car and forget in the middle and end up with a ton of playlsits named variations of "car cd" on my iTunes. I have a different mood for each different CD; the two I have right now are really varied, and I've been wanting a mostly-acoustic, easy to sing to, summery kind of CD, despite the fact that it's nearing September. I also want a country mix CD, because I find myself craving Brooks and Dunn and George Strait when I'm driving home from school.

Jimmy Buffett's Songs You Know By Heart is probably one of my favorite CDs because of the memories it brings back.

I'm tired but working on my English homework. I really need to study for my Spanish quiz as well, but I'm taking one thing at a time.

I have so much to do... I really need to just DO stuff, but I would rather do stuff that I WANT to do. My grandfather/the guy that talked at a senior initiation kinda thing essentially said that the easier the classes, the better, because if they're too hard, it just becomes work. Which is not what you want. Ugh.

I wish I liked/cared about learning.

Kenny Chesneyyyy. <3

whining.

2009-08-25T22:48:00.004-05:00

I should 100% be studying for the math test that I have tomorrow, but instead, I'm trying to rid my computer of viruses and trojans while ignoring my calculus book sitting open beside me. I'd much rather go to bed than read through a chapter about techniques that I don't remember and don't understand. Getting a virus was a much needed excuse to blow off studying - not that I had much time for it anyway, as I've only been at home for about 3 nonconsecutive hours. I really should just grab my book and start reviewing, but I'm stubborn [haha] and haven't understood any of the material we've "covered" for the past 2 days. Exponential functions and transformations just throw me off, although I had a solid understanding of them last year during precal. I don't know why I've forgotten everything [excluding that three months we had off, of course], but I feel like this is just one of my patterns again; freshman year, I took a math that was too easy for me and easily got 100s on almost everything; sophomore year, I took a math that was too hard for me and barely scraped by with low Bs; rinse and repeat.

I think I beat the virus. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Jinx?
It's okay; I knocked on wood.

I'm sleepy and have decided in the time that it took my computer to restart to at least review the precalculus that I don't understand. Sigh.

loyalty protecting loyalty.

2009-06-20T01:05:00.005-05:00

Now that it's summer, I'm not sure whether blogging daily would be easier or harder.

My step-dad added me on Facebook, which makes me a little nervous. I can't figure out how to do that limited profile crap 'cause I fail and am too lazy to look for very long. Plus, I don't want it to be like "OH HEY I WON'T LET YOU SEE MY PICTURES BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THERE'S SOMETHING I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE" so y'know. Anyway, there's not really anything that I think I need to be worried about.

I miss my mom's house, and I really really really want to go boating. I miss lakes and tubing and sunburns and Jimmy Buffet. D:

I love The Nanny. It's so pathetic that I stay up to watch the two episodes on Nick at Night. :]

We went to the zoo today, so that was fun. Prairie dogs are freaking ADORABLE, and I lovelovelove goats, especially baby ones. But jeez, the zoo we went to didn't have elephants or lions or hippos which is SUCKY. But whatevs. The red panda was cute. Lots of walking but still nice. Then we went and had Mexican food but we all ate WAY too much, and now my stomach hurts so whatevs.

I haven't legitimately listened to music in a long time. I've neglected iTunes even more now that I'm not driving my own car [and consequently, not listening to my CDs or iPod in the car.]

Speaking of cars, I miss mine a lot. I'm driving my step-mom's Toyota Sequoia at the moment It's so much heavier and bigger than my Forester, so that kind of sucks. I didn't realize I would miss driving my car so much, but driving other people's cars is annoying because I have to be clean and not take up their space, and I just miss having the freedom to leave shit in my cupholders if I don't wanna deal with it.

Anyway, I should probably go to bed 'cause it's like 1:42 AM [not that 2's that late but whatevs].

the place that my heart calls home.

2009-05-11T18:01:00.002-05:00

I need to pick a classic/notable fiction author for summer reading, but I don't know half the list and their works all look so boring... I've crossed off about half the names on the list, but it really didn't help... I still have Faulkner, Flaubert, McCullers, Hardy, Hurston, Gaines, Ellison, Albee, Tyler, Lawrence, Silko, Atwood, Miller, Forster, Eliot, Cather, James, and Kingston. GAHHH.

Karma is hilarious. :D

lightning strikes me down; i'm on my knees,

2009-05-10T13:16:00.003-05:00

I failed, you guys. But I'm going to combine the weekend [Friday, Saturday, Sunday] into one blog post, because most of the time, I don't have time to write a blog entry on Friday and Saturday. But I did fail on Thursday. Whateverr.

On Friday, I finally took my APUSH exam - it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I'm still a little worried. All I have left is my AP English Language exam, which will be exhausting, but luckily, I can't study for it, so I won't be stressing out until Wednesday morning. :D Anyway, it was super nice, 'cause I only had one class on Friday (which will happen again on Wednesday [huzzah!]) so I basically just hung out with people from 11:30 to 1:50 and then went to precal. Ha. Then we hung out in the hallways/parking lot for a while, and it was freaking HOT. Like 101 degrees. First 100 degree day in a while. :D And thennn I went home, did nothing for a while, got an IM telling me that I had to be dressed nice to go to the club dinner later that day, freaked out because I don't have nice clothes, ran to the store that was holding a few shirts for me that had already been paid for, grabbed one, and then partially got lost on the way to the restaurant - and ended up in a nursing home before finding it.

The dinner was at a Thai place, and I was kinda nervous about that, 'cause I've never really had Thai food other than lemon chicken. I ended up trying something new... It was panang, I think. It was okay, but had kind of a weird taste so I didn't eat very much of it. I wasn't really hungry anyway though and the food was free, so I didn't realllly care. My friends and I pretty much goofed off the entire time and didn't really do much, but then we went bowling, which was a lot of fun minus the almost rearending the guy I was following and then forcing someone to take me half way home 'cause I was lost. :D It was a good night.

Saturday, I helped my parents with the yard sale we were having and went back to that store to pick up the rest of my nice clothes/pick out shoes. And then I took my sister and her friend to Jamba Juice [which was okay... Smoothie King is better though]. Later, my sister and I went to Borders [where I bought HP 6 because I can't freaking find our copy] and then to the movies to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It was okay. Not great, but whatever.

And today, we had a lunch for Mother's Day and now I'm doing my math homework/writing this. :D

Listening to my parents talking upstairs and my fan
Days until the APEL exam: 3
Days until graduation: 383

the chanel no 5 commercial irritates me.

2009-05-06T21:51:00.003-05:00

I'm watching House on Hulu instead of studying for my AP exams.

And I really don't have much to say, other than that.

Listening to whatever song is on the Chanel No 5 commercial, House
Days until the APUSH exam: 2
Days until graduation: 387

she whispers something in my ear; the message is unclear.

2009-05-05T19:42:00.004-05:00

I can't concentrate on anything. It's unfortunate.

My stomach is upset with me for some reason, and I'm not feeling all that great overall. Mentally and physically.

I had another good/bad day. Although my days are rarely amazing, I hardly ever stay in a bad mood all day. Something good happens or someone cheers me up. Sometimes I go home unhappy, but it's rare that I was like that all day. I had that anatomy test today, which I'm pretty sure I failed because I didn't know any of the short answer. Sure, that's probably my fault, but I'm studying the only way I know how. I read the entire chapter, highlighted, took in depth notes, studied those notes intensely, but it doesn't matter apparently. I was incredibly angry after that test - like angrier than I've been in years, honestly - and I couldn't do anything but just go study for APUSH some more. Just to make myself feel a little better, I tore out all my anatomy notes, threw them in my locker, and then ripped up my genetics notes before sitting down with the Princeton Review. I liked English today though; we talked about the end of the year, and I felt like such a part of the group - which isn't all that unusual, but is always nice nevertheless. Yearbook, photo, and history were okay. I was still unhappy, but I wasn't angry anymore.

But instead of going to assembly today, future AP English Lit kids had a meeting with our future teacher to choose the author for our future research paper [and summer reading]. That stressed me out more than anything. I have absolutely no idea how to choose. I freaked out the entire time, even though I was the 49th person to choose [after switching numbers with four of my friends for a later number]. I asked for more time, but I was incredibly stressed out and anxious about everything again. We went straight to lunch, and while we were waiting in line, my friends started talking about the anatomy test; I was so emotionally unstable that I was literally two seconds away from crying and I was sort of yelling and swearing, but whatever. Once we got to the table, the day got better. I don't even know why, but for some reason, the conversation at lunch cheered me up. And then M.E. started writing all over me in free period and screwing with my computer so I hit her a bunch of times, but she wouldn't stop and then she complained to me. Whatever.

We studied after school and that made me feel better because I think I know a lot more than I realize. [PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEBETRUE.]

Listening to Last Night by Motion City Soundtrack, At First Sight and Home by Jay Brannan, You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol, She's Leaving Home by The Beatles, God Gave Me a Gun by Alive in Wild Paint, Hey by Backseat Goodbye [damn I took forever to write this.]
Days until the APUSH exam: 3
Days until graduation: 388

someday you will get the best of me.

2009-05-04T22:32:00.003-05:00

I told myself the other day that I'd try to blog everyday for a while [like BEDA but a month late], because this is really the only self-reflection that I do [ever] and I wanna see if my writing changes. I dunno; we'll see.

I should most definitely be reading my pieces on feminism/working on my feminism assertion or studying for the BAZILLION tests I have, but I can't bring myself to work on any of it. Instead, I watch stupid YouTube videos and write shit blog entries. And realizing just how music ADD I am.

I - I don't listen to music anymore, really. Just in the car so it's not silent. But... I don't know. Shows are still fun, and I lovelovelove them, but they're not the same as they were. Just a different feeling to the whole thing. Maybe I'm growing out of it or some shit.

We got the book of our class's personal essays back today in AP English Language. I despise my personal essay, and seeing it published makes me want to cry a little.

I hate that our teachers moved our anatomy test after I had already studied and mine won't tell us what's going to be on there, so I'm like "well. I studied, but usually when I study, I fail anyway." I'll probably do badly, but at least I'll get it over with. I'm scared for the anatomy final; I'm going to have to do well, 'cause, well, I've done really badly in the class. Ugh. My teacher REFUSES to believe that I actually read and didn't have any questions about the material, so he said he was going to give me a bad grade for not asking questions. That's just ridiculous. You're going to give me a bad grade because I UNDERSTOOD THE MATERIAL?! Ugh. I just hate that class overall.

Obviously, I don't have a lot to talk about. I'm mostly just procrastinating. I don't want to read/study. Feminism isn't my thing, and APUSH is freaking scary.

Listening to Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack, Sunshine by Matt Costa, Super Honeymoon by Owl City, Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3

we should be happy, that's what i said from the start

2009-05-03T23:32:00.003-05:00

I didn't do any of my homework this weekend, and I'm going to bed late, but y'know what, I don't really care anymore. :D I only have three Saturdays left as a junior so.

I'm pretty sure my parents are buying me a Canon Rebel XSi for my birthday/Christmas/my digital photo class next year, and I'm excited and anxious at the same time. I've always loved photography; when I was little, I used to run around with a camera all the time, and consequently, I have literally boxes full of photos, which don't even begin to cover my digital pictures. I've taken a million classes on it too, but recently, I haven't really been into it. I dunno what it is. I see these gorgeous pictures that other people have taken, and I'm just like "damn, I wish I could do that," but I never put enough effort into it to actually take photos like those. I'm scared that I'm not going to use the camera enough; it's really expensive and so I'm super worried about it.

I honestly can't wait to be a senior. It just seems so awesome. I get so excited when I think about the classes I'm taking next year [namely, digital photo, yearbook, economics, and Spanish 1]. I love love love yearbook honestly. It's my favorite class this year, even though I dunno how good I am at it. My teacher has told me I'd be a good yearbook editor, which is super exciting and terrifying at the same time. I don't know what that means for next year, but I'm happy with whatever happens, really. Even just going off campus for lunch is exciting. Plus I'm almost OUT of this school. I'll never have to go back.

I'm going to try to make the most of this summer, 'cause the ones last year and the year before SUCKED. Actually, my summers usually do suck, 'cause I don't have any friends at my dad's. Zero. Because I don't do anything where people are and there aren't any teenagers in my neighborhood. It's my last summer of high school, which will probably be dominated by homework, but STILL. Whatever. I'm planning on riding my bike a lot and going to the parrrk when it's nice out.

I was going to go to bed twenty minutes ago, but I wasn't tired enough and wanted to blog [because I haven't and I feel like I should more often]. So now it's 11:45 and I'm gonna go fur realz once this song is over. Happy by Never Shout Never reminds me of summer and sun and parks and nice things.

Listening to Happy and Bigcitydreams by Never Shout Never <3

2009 = Terrible.

2009-01-16T17:34:00.000-06:00

Personal essays = fail.

2008-12-22T03:19:00.002-06:00

My bands are outgrowing me.

Most depressing thing ever.

:)

2008-12-15T22:41:00.001-06:00

I'm so proud of boys I don't even know, even though I don't like their newest CD.

But watching them perform in huge venues internationally makes me want to cry.

I don't understand.

fuck ap english.

2008-12-03T21:29:00.001-06:00

High school doesn't even logically make sense.

I don't care about learning or being smart or any of that shit.

I'd rather be happy.

2008-11-19T18:11:00.003-06:00

For a long time, I boasted that I didn't care about what anyone else thought of me. And for a while, I even believed that about myself.

However, I realized at some point in the last year that I used that as an excuse to do whatever I wanted. It allowed me to a bitch, guilt-free.

It allowed me to criticize people for faults I embody more than they do. It allowed me to cultivate a very negative pessimistic view of the world. It allowed me to trick myself into thinking I was actually better than some of my peers.

But I do care what people think. The opinions of the people whom I respect are important to me.
Mostly because I don't want to be that girl that people dislike.

This does not have so much to do with my reputation as it does my effect on others.

We affect everyone we interact with everyday. I would much rather leave a positive effect than a negative one; I would rather make someone feel good about themselves or make their day just a little more tolerable than throw them into anger and self-doubt.

I'm sorry.

disgusting.

2008-11-16T00:20:00.004-06:00

If you are a fan of Twilight but would like to see the other side of the argument (i.e. Twilight sucks):
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23094573385&ref=nf#/topic.php?uid=23094573385&topic=6060

If you haven't read, don't like, or like Twilight but can accept criticism:
http://community.livejournal.com/mspaint_lolz/32606.html#cutid1

Hearing Twilight compared to Harry Potter and even Nancy Drew makes me sick to my stomach. Sure, teenage girls are reading. Doesn't it matter WHAT they're reading?

As a high school student, I understand that typically kids don't read. I don't have much time to pick up a book, and a series that has thousands of teenagers reading in their very limited free time must be good, right? However, Twilight fails miserably. Maybe if it was original, written well, had characters with personalities, and/or had a plot, reading the book would actually be beneficial to teenagers. Ughughugh.

If you haven't read the series, I highly recommend NOT reading it. It's honestly a waste of time and money, unless you like reading fan-fiction fluff that's taken from dozens of different books and movies.

DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE THE SERIES TO ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS. YOU MUST BE AN IMBECILE TO EVEN THINK THAT THEY'RE IN THE LEAST BIT SIMILAR.

ugh realism.

2008-11-02T00:21:00.003-05:00

To limit the salary of the business men in charge is to lower the interest, loyalty, and work ethic of these business men.
To lower the interest, loyalty, and work ethic is to decrease the overall profit.
To decrease profit is to limit the money spent on employing workers.
To limit the budget is to fire the workers in lower branches of the corporation.
To fire workers is to destroy the middle class.
To destroy the middle class is to destroy the economy.
To destroy the economy is to destroy society.
To destroy society is to destroy the government.

the most amazing boy ever.

2008-10-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

yay instrumental music.

2008-10-16T18:47:00.004-05:00

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone movie soundtrack FTW.

Interlude in Em by It is Well FTW tooo! :)

Why do I associate Motion City Soundtrack with Chuck Palahniuk?

believe me. this is lame.

2008-10-12T23:04:00.005-05:00

I miss having free period by myself.

Sure, I always complained about it, but, looking back, I really liked having that forty-five minutes to myself four days a week.

I miss listening to my music without interruptions and fully concentrating on my work and ignoring all of the people around me and randomly doodling in my spiral and sitting at the same table in the same chair every day.

I miss feeling the warm sun on my back and seeing the natural light dance across the wooden table when it was a nice day. I miss suddenly realizing that it's raining and turning around to see the downpour through the huge windows when it was a stormy day.

I miss my routine.

... I'mlamewhoo.

genre jumps, devolution, and cover art.

2008-10-07T18:38:00.005-05:00

I'm unhappy with Fueled by Ramen [and Fall Out Boy]. All their bands are changing their sounds. And yeah, sure, I'm cool with them maturing musically and everything, but most of the time it sounds like they're devolving. Panic[!] at the Disco, The Academy Is... - it's not that I don't love the bands [because I do]. It's just that I expect more from them. Quality stuff, not the somewhat cliche, not-entirely-pop-but-reminscient-of-it, slightly boring stuff they've put out recently.

Panic[!]'s newest CD, which they worked on for years [literally], was a disappointment. With the exclamation point went the energy of the music. Sure, I liked a few of the songs on Pretty. Odd. - We're So Starving, Pas de Cheval, sometimes Northern Downpour. It's certainly not as if the rest of the songs are bad, but they just don't catch my attention like their old music did. Honestly, if the CD hadn't been by Panic[!], I would never have bought it. I only listened to it when I was getting ready to see them, because I wanted to be able to still have fun if they only played songs off that. [Luckily, they played the old songs also and sounded better than ever.] I love the band, but I expected more from them.

The Academy Is...'s new CD isn't terrible. I still haven't listened to the whole thing, but I do like a fair amount of the songs I have heard. Paper Chase and His Girl Friday are my favorites off the album at the moment. But I would never specifically choose those songs to listen to. I'll listen to them if they come up on my playlist, but I'm not going to seek them out. Even in Santi, their previous album, it was a little hard for me to find the sound that I loved about them. I grew to love Santi though, especially after seeing them perform it live twice. It's a CD I probably would have bought even if I had no idea who the band was. Fast Times at Barrington High is a CD I wouldn't have looked twice at. The music isn't bad, but it doesn't catch my attention. I hear it, but I'm definitely not captured by it the way I was with their first album - which I discovered years late. The lyrics on some tracks are brilliant, but most are slightly cliche. [Not that I can even write cliche lyrics.] Again, I love the band. I just wanted more. However, considering how often they toured between Santi and this album, it's pretty impressive.

Fall Out Boy - who isn't on Fueled by Ramen, but whatever - has a new album coming out on Election Day. I've already made sure that the CD store that I go to is ordering it. I'm buying no matter what. I adore the cover art as well as the title. I liked the new songs on the free mixtape they put out. But "I Don't Care" just doesn't really meet my standards. As selfish as it sounds, I wish Patrick had never learned to sing; in my opinion, his voice is absolutely brilliant on Take This To Your Grave [which is my favorite CD anyway] and decreases from there. That's not to say that I don't love his voice, because I do. I just don't love it as much. The lyrics to I Don't Care aren't great, but I can deal with that. I wasn't worried, because I felt the same way with Infinity On High and still ended up really liking that CD. Besides, I'd already heard other new songs that I liked [despite the constant "GET FAMILIAR" crap]. It can't be all bad. They put out a new song on iTunes the other day, and I was totally ready to text my dad to ask if I could borrow a dollar to buy the song. I was even a little excited, but I ended up not even wanting to buy it. I was just like "Eh, it'll be on the CD... Why waste money?" I never like the singles though, so I still have faith in them. :)

I'm not giving up on these bands.

Y'know, maybe it's me.
Maybe I'm outgrowing them.

2008-09-29T22:06:00.001-05:00

In the scheme of things, school doesn't make sense. To be completely honest.

Art?

2008-09-10T22:31:00.002-05:00

My whole life I’ve been drawn to more creative, artistic hobbies – things like drawing, writing, photography. Various phases led me through ambitions to be a cinematographer and fabricated skills at black and white photography. By the end of freshman year in high school, however, I’d learned that I just wasn’t good at any of my proposed passions. Ballet was a six year experience – one that ended quickly in third grade when I realized that tights and good posture just didn’t mesh with my personality. Meanwhile, I’d discovered photography, filling my summers with workshops at the zoo, a hobby which lasted approximately ten discontinuous years, if you count the bright red plastic camera I ran around with at five. Art, which replaced photography for a bit, was my middle school endeavor; although I’d been forced to take art classes in elementary school, I was never serious about it. Drama featured a very short spotlight, lasting less than a week, because I’d discovered my inability to think on my feet. Video lasted almost as long as photography, really, starting around fourth grade and continuing until eleventh. For about four years, I walked around with my video camera in hand, recording everything and editing it all before losing the footage throughout the years. Taking a class on the subject quickly ended that hobby. Guitar, also a long-term investment, began in fifth grade and endured through both middle and high school, mostly because I loved the class, despite my lack of talent.

Overall, I have no artistic talent.

over there.

2008-08-31T00:42:00.002-05:00

I cling to illogical optimism, although I claim to be a pessimist.

[I hate Paramore.]

???

2008-08-19T13:13:00.002-05:00

So I've been watching the Olympics this summer. I like watching gymnastics, swimming, and volleyball the most, but I like a lot of the other sports too. Not that I know much about any of them. As an American, it's relatively obvious that I'm rooting for Team USA. I don't care how many golds anyone has though. The medal count doesn't REALLY matter to me. I like watching the Americans win, but hey, if we lose, we lose. Big deal. China has more gold medals than us. That's cool; they have some amazing athletes playing for them. The U.S. has the most medals total. Whoo. I'm pretty sure we've got the most athletes, also, so that kind of balances out. Whatever. Besides, if you're an athlete at the OLYMPICS, then you're already pretty amazing.

But. I just read an article about the "real medal count" and people in the comments are whining about how Americans are "sore losers" and how Chinese are "cheaters" and one guy comments, "The Olympics are about SPORTS, not POLITICS." I'm just a kid, and I've definitely not been out in the real world yet. But you know what? The Olympics ARE about politics. I don't understand how anyone would think that there ISN'T a huge political influence. And yeah, some of the judges may be biased, but who really cares? There are so many tiny things that can change an outcome, giving some people gold medals when maybe they deserve a silver. Or maybe they recieve a silver when they deserve a gold.

In the scheme of things, does any of that even matter?

Huh?

2008-07-13T21:04:00.003-05:00

So I'm watching Picture This! or whatever on ABC Family and like half the people in it are from Degrassi so far. [That's a lie, but at least two of the main-ish characters are.] I don't know why that like... surprises me, but I'm always like "WTF? Weird..." Yeah. This isn't relevant. And the guy she's obsessed with is kind of ugly, to be honest.

Okay, WTF? You fell in a pool and you can't swim or something? Or are you doing that on purpose?

I wanna work in a pet store... Lisa's dog is really ugly. Who names a cat Andy? Who says "funky"? Uh. That guy probably wouldn't be able to get into law school in real life. He can't be 'perfect'; it's impossible.

I like her glasses though... And is she wearing that to school...? It's like pajamas. ... That's a SUCKY gift. "Guess what, hon! You get to LIVE WITH ME!" But she's kind of a jerk. I don't like her.

Are they seriously talking on the phone while walking together? I love his camera. Okay, you would so get like kicked out for drinking out of the fountain like that. I'd be all "STOP TAKING PICTURES OF ME." And who randomly says, "I like your laugh"? Uh, let's look at the text under the picture, dude. DAD. Can you read? Idiot.

I want more water. Purdy camera... He's so like cheating on his girlfriend. Okay, WHEN did they exchange phone numbers? Stalker much? He's like hiding in trees and taking pictures.

WTF? They're HUGGING? They've talked like twice. "I feel like I can be myself around you. And I like your eyes." That was STUPID and SO fake.

I so want a Girl Scout Cookie blizzard. Aren't Mac and Cheese crackers just like... cheese nips? Okay, hair dye commercial, that wasn't a question. I love how you like pawned your wedding ring. I'm not sure you can guarantee satisfaction. AW, IT'S JONATHON KENT! YOU DIED INSTEAD OF LANA AND NOW YOU'RE ON THIS WEIRD SHOW AND I MISS YOU.

Okay, how would you - okay, IT SAYS DAD!!! - lose your phone the FIRST day you got it? "I'll leave your name at the gate." Ass. No one says "sick music" and I dislike him. So he took her phone. She still has her computer... She could just IM people. Or video chat with them. Stupid. Okay, I love that it's always "no."

I love that the dad is actually smart. At least he actually let you out of the house and gave you your phone back. Brat. I hope she gets caught and is forced to live with her dad. I love how they all have video phones. I love how it's not obvious that he was just going to have sex with her and dump her anyway. Idiots. "A.A. meeting and then she's meeting Jennifer for a drink." That's brilliant.

Okay, who doesn't lock their cars? Not even kidding. "Marilyn Manson doesn't have blood!"

Commercials suck and this is SO pointless - the blog entry is way long and boring.

"Oh my God, I have butt-face!" ...She's like chugging that allergy stuff. My friend fell in a mall fountain once! They would SO get kicked out of the store. She changed clothes... If I were her dad, I'd be like "Did you bring a change of clothes...?" I love Bruce.

I feel horrible for them. It's like "my friend forced me to do this." And that TICKS me off. It's all "YEAH I'M SMART AND PRETTY AND GET EVERYTHING I WANT AND I CAN SING." God. ...I love concert people.

I don't get why having smooth legs leads to Walmart. Oh. That's stupid.

I just missed a HUGE part of the movie. Now they're dancing? And he's going to rape her. And she's like "uh, I don't want to have sex with you." Hey, at least there wasn't that cliche guy best friend that she falls in love with. I hope he tries to rape her and she's all "I DON'T LOVE YOU." Uh. Sorry, I like Tila Tequila a little too much. [I don't know if you'll understand that reference, but WHATEVER.] Creepy cult people; Manson's blood + curse = stupid.

I love how he's actually normal. Dude, that guy looked like Bob from The Hush Sound!

Okay, I'll bet you $1,000,000 she ends up with him in the end.

... Stupid.

www.wefeelfine.org

2008-07-02T18:01:00.002-05:00

I like that most people feel empty when it's sunny out.

In Which I Ramble. Again. :)

2008-06-28T19:24:00.003-05:00

I haven't updated this in like a billion years. :)

I'm the kind of the person that doesn't like talking to people, including cashiers. Especially in small places. It took me months to be able to talk normally to the guy at the CD store when I order my CDs. And now that I'm at my dad's and cut off from that CD store [since I'm in a different state...], I asked my step-sisters' cousin to ask his friends about local (small) music stores. xD I got some answers, but I think I might have to order stuff and I really really really hate talking to people, so that'll be something not so awesome. Nothing's awesome here except for the fact that one of my favorite bands is from here. But that's about the only awesome thing.

Whoo.

I miss people. [Which was to be expected, but whatever.] And I'm bored. [Which was also to be expected. It sucks anyway.]

what would you do?

2008-06-07T14:48:00.004-05:00

I should be packing, since I'm going to Italy tomorrow. Instead, I'm texting my friend about a movie we're going to see at 7:15, singing to music, and writing a blog entry...

So, yesterday around two, my mom took me over to my friend's house [we got lost on the way and got there late too xD]. We [as in me, my friend, two of my other friends, and my friend's friend] hung out until about seven, when we headed to the movie theater to see What Happens In Vegas. The first theater we were going to was sold out [wtf?] but we made it to another one on time and we were five of the nine people in the theater. Anyway. The movie was really good, and Carolina Liar had a song in it [WTF? I didn't even think they had a CD out yet... Okay, just checked and they do, but whatever.] Then we drove home [and watched the beginning of The Cutting Edge 3(?) in the car]. My friend's friend had to go, which kinda stunk, but I think she still had fun, so that's always good. =) So. We watched the rest of that movie in the trailer we were spending the night in. And then we watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure [which was most outstanding, by the way]. And one of my friends fell asleep. And then we watched Little Miss Sunshine. And then License to Wed [and dude, I totally hated all the characters in that movie]. And then Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey [which was totally non non non heinous]. Then my friend woke up, because it was about 6 or 7 AM by that time. And so we watched 27 Dresses. And when that was over, it was around 8:30, so we went inside and ate pancakes while watching 300. And then we played electronic Life until one. xD

What Happens In Vegas
The Cutting Edge 3
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Little Miss Sunshine
License to Wed
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
27 Dresses
300

I've never seen that many movies in 24 hours, let alone 12. xD And I'm going to see that new Adam Sandler movie at like 7:15 with my other friends tonight.

So. I haven't slept in 27 hours, I've watched 8 movies, and discovered that I really need to pack.

2008-06-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

I miss horseback riding. A lot.

Moral Corruption in Oedipus the King

2008-05-26T22:10:00.002-05:00

1. Backseat Goodbye is brilliant. =)
2. I hate exams, especially for preventing me from a concert that would have been awesome.
3. I don't understand algebra 2.

WHAP = Enormously Pointless.

2008-05-14T20:40:00.001-05:00

Am I ever going to use the information I "learned" this year in my AP World History class?

No.

Even if I could remember it, it's never EVER going to be useful.

God, what a waste of a year.

Taking the national AP exam for it tomorrow, and I'm screwed! =)

I Hate Award Ceremonies

2008-05-06T20:44:00.002-05:00

Listening to: Summer '79 by The Ataris
What I Should Be Doing: Titling my essay about the significance of small birds, reading Shooting an Elephant, and writing nice things about the kids in my algebra class

I don't wanna write my English essay.

Being a teenage girl kind of sucks, man. xD

I want sausage pizza right now...

Uh, PUPPIES!

NAPTIME!

2008-04-29T01:16:00.001-05:00

I just want to care about something. Like school.

It'd be nice to care about just ONE subject, whether it was academic or not. Unfortunately, that won't happen.

Which is how I know that I pretty much won't be happy for the rest of my life. So that's fun.

Always is.

I Miss Those Awesome People...

2008-04-24T22:21:00.004-05:00

My parents threw a party today. It's all good till people start hugging you and talking about your haircut and ordering you to light candles all at the same time.

Don't have school tomorrow, which is nice.

I'm exhausted though. This week was so insanely long.

I'm like too warm and too cold at the same time, and that's slightly gross.

SCORE!

2008-04-18T21:41:00.001-05:00

*HAPPY DANCE!*

PEPPERMINTS TASTE LIKE MINTS AGAIN!!!

Too bad I wasted those Whataburger mints on the bus...

Those are my favorites too. =(

Emos + DDR = Cake?

2008-04-17T22:56:00.003-05:00

What's up with emos and DDR? I don't get the connection...

Maybe it's only at the Gameworks near my house.

Sweet Jesus.

2008-04-16T14:57:00.004-05:00

Okay, Apple. I'm effing sick of your crap.

If I wanted Safari, I'd download it. Or I'd BUY A MAC. I don't want your ugly, slow, shitty browser with its ugly font on my computer, okay?

Sure, I have iTunes on my laptop. Does that mean I automatically want Safari!? NO.

Get over yourselves. Seriously.

Now I'm off to undo the damage you've done. Add or Remove Programs, here I come.

AND DUDE. IF THERE'S EFFING SPELL CHECK BUILT IN, HOW COME I'VE YET TO MEET A MAC USER THAT CAN SPELL ON THE INTERNET!?!

GAAAAAAH.

*is so totally against Apple*

sick.

2008-04-15T00:49:00.002-05:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		36%
Stability		46%
Orderliness		50%
Accommodation		33%
Interdependence		50%
Intellectual		40%
Mystical		10%
Artistic		20%
Religious		50%
Hedonism		10%
Materialism		20%
Narcissism		10%
Adventurousness		10%
Work ethic		50%
Self absorbed		30%
Conflict seeking		10%
Need to dominate		30%

Romantic		30%
Avoidant		70%
Anti-authority		30%
Wealth		70%
Dependency		40%
Change averse		50%
Cautiousness		80%
Individuality		70%
Sexuality		30%
Peter pan complex		90%
Physical security		90%
Physical Fitness		20%
Histrionic		10%
Paranoia		60%
Vanity		30%
Hypersensitivity		20%
Indie		40%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

TRAIT SNAPSHOT:

does not make friends easily, secretive, introverted, reclusive, observer, dislikes leadership, somewhat socially awkward, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, values solitude, solitary, avoidant, ambivalent about fitting in, not dominant, unassertive, suspicious, prudent, unadventurous, worrying, weird, intellectual, frequently second guesses self

Why Do You Insist On Increasing Your Suckiness, Apple?

2008-04-06T22:29:00.003-05:00

Listening to: Let U Go by Ashley Parker Angel [the 'U' in that makes me sick]
What I Should Be Doing: Reading for English
I'm Also: Gah, no time for this

Dude, every "update" Apple puts out for iTunes just messes mine up further. I didn't have any problems with it until I downloaded the update about three updates ago. And the more I update it, the less it works correctly. Same goes for software updates for my iPod.

WTF?

Spider Solitaire Is My New Addiction

2008-04-05T14:53:00.002-05:00

Listening to: Not Your Concern by The Hush Sound
What I Should Be Doing: Sleeping
I'm Also: Looking up tour dates for bands

It's effing 4:46 AM, and instead of going to bed like a normal person, I'm reading random stories, debating on whether to go eat Frosted Cheerios dry or not, and checking out bands' MySpaces/official sites for tour dates.

MySpace sucks, by the way. The whole "let's automatically play music WHOO" thing makes me angry. It's like, "WTF IS THAT MUSIC?!" and then "Gah, now I have to turn off my iTunes or like wait for the player to load so I can effing turn it off." Plus the whole site's so SLOW... Though that may be my internet right now. =)

Jesus, "Official Fall Out Boy Website." Do you not understand "ENTER WEB SITE" or something?

Invisible Monsters is an awesome book. Goodbye Blues is an awesome CD. Horton Hears a Who is an awesome movie. The end.

I should go pick up my CD tomorrow/today, but screw that.

Stop being hungry, tummy. You were all "WKLTJLKJT!!! NOISE FEED ME!" during 2nd effing period, during my effing test. You were so effing loud, too... And I totally had effing breakfast, so I don't get it. It was an effing overflowing bowl of Frosted effing Cheerios. Sorry, I'm done. Carlos bought me a scone [haha, free food is awesome] and then Whitney and I went and talked to Whitney's brother and Rachel. Who's moving. POOP.

GOD! LOAD THE EFFING PAGE, MYSPACE! ARE YOU THAT STUPID!? HONESTLY!?

*implodes*

God, my sleeping schedule's gonna be screwed up. =)

You know who should tour? The Used. Seriously.

I'm seeing The Hush Sound and Motion City Soundtrack and Panic! at the Disco in like two weeks. I honestly could care less about Panic! though. I'm way more excited for the first two bands. I mean, I love Panic!, but they're new album is seriously just not them, so I'm kinda disappointed with them. Yeah, I like Pretty. Odd. for the most part, but it's just like "oh, new songs to listen to occasionally" not like "OH MY GOD, MUST PLAY OVER AND OVER BECAUSE IT'S SO EFFING GOOD." I had to listen to the effing CD like seven times before I decided I liked it. And I loved their first CD...

GOD, INTERNET. STOP BEING RETARDED. *hates the world*

I'm sleepy. HAPPY 5 AM!!!

[THIS WAS WRITTEN FROM 4:46 TO 5 AM LAST NIGHT, BUT IT WOULDN'T EFFING POST.]

This Is A Party Without The People

2008-03-28T23:02:00.003-05:00

Listening to: Find A Way by The Used
What I Should Be Doing: Editing pictures for my mom or something
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, looking at names, and rating movies on Facebook

I think I'm the only person on Earth that doesn't like Monty Python. =\ My step-dad kept saying that I'd love Monty Python and The Holy Grail. And then, when I finally watched it, I hated it. It bored the heck out of me. I didn't think any of it was in the least bit funny, and I ended up leaving less than halfway through the movie... Maybe I really don't have a sense of humor. Ah well.

Gah, I'm in a bad mood and it's too warm.

Wait, "learning?" What's that?

2008-03-26T22:44:00.005-05:00

Listening to: Drunk Girl by Something Corporate
What I Should Be Doing: Finishing up history, brushing my teeth, and going to bed
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, reading journals on songsmeanings.net, and playing Spider Solitaire [my new addiction]

I picked up Panic! at the Disco's Pretty. Odd. and Something Corporate's Leaving Through The Window today. I also saw Horton Hears a Who again [love that movie!] and had ice cream with my friends. =) All in all, it was a pretty good day.

I'm comfortable talking to the guy that owns/runs the CD store, and I'm comfortable talking to the girl that is sometimes there instead of him, but I'm not comfortable talking to either of them when they're in the same room. I don't know why, so don't ask.

It was like 90 effing degrees. I mean, I know that's normal for where I live, but I was so used to the 40-50s... I almost forgot how gross sweating is.

Wuh-oah... I spent like $72 today. $20 for movie tickets, $20 for ice cream, $32 for my CDs... Dang.

I know how to budget/save my money, but there's always stuff I want. [T-shirts, CDs, concert tickets...]

I don't like Pretty. Odd. even half as much as I liked A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, but whatever. It's okay, just not great. Doesn't really catch my attention.

I'm way too shy sometimes. Like, I can't even talk to the CD store guy when there are people I don't know in there. And I hate ordering food at restaurants/fast food places/ice cream shops. And I absolutely DESPISE talking on the phone. And if I don't have at least one friend in a class, I won't say ANYTHING. Unless it's like guitar. But I've known my teacher for like 5 years. Then again, I didn't talk to him for like the first two. xD

poooooo.

2008-03-21T23:07:00.002-05:00

Listening to: Make It Count by Holiday Parade
What I Should Be Doing: Growing up and getting over life.
I'm Also: Fighting a headache, watching George Lopez, and talking to Allie and Anna

I like to please people. But I hate people at the same time...

I don't understand society. It gives me a headache.

This break has been one of the worst breaks ever. That trip to Chicago was a huge waste of time... I wish I had been here staying up till 6 AM and sleeping till 2 PM, instead of being forced to sleep at midnight and waken at 8 AM for the free buffet.

I don't know who I am. Or understand myself.

Go die, Boys Like Girls. First of all, WTF is up with your band name? Are you saying that boys like girls or that you are boys that are like girls? Because if it's the first, you're kind of off. And if it's the second, you have issues. Second, WTF is that song Hero/Heroine? You can't sing. You sound like a dying cat. Get over it. Yeah, I'll admit to liking 3 of their songs, but Jesus.

Simple Plan > Boys Like Girls. And I don't like Simple Plan that much, man...

George Lopez is secretly the best show on TV. *nods*

Do You Have Any Idea How Much I Want To Go To Warped Tour? NO.

2008-03-19T21:35:00.002-05:00

[3-19-08; 1:45 PM]
Listening to: Invisible Monsters by Motion City Soundtrack and my dad talking on the phone
What I Should Be Doing: Nothing much. Reading maybe.
I'm Also: Playing Solitaire and wishing that I could blow my nose and that I hadn't finished my water
I'm sitting here in the car with my family, on the way back from Chicago. My legs are bothering me, but whatever.

I think Saryn got me sick. Or something. I dunno. All I know is that my nose is seriously stuffed up and runny at the same time, my throat's killing me, and my head's fuzzy-hurting. And The Everglow by Mae is a seriously good song.
I think I'm annoying people by typing, but whatever.

I finally bought Invisible Monsters. We were shopping in Chicago, and my sisters and step-mom went into H&M. There was a Borders right next to it, so we went there afterward. I bought Twilight ['cause SO many people have recommended that series to me] and Invisible Monsters [FINALLY]. I'm excited to start reading them, but I have The Winds of War and The Wizard Heir to finish, too... And I need to finish The Wizard Heir before March 27 'cause it's a library book. Ah well.

It smells like chapstick, and my tummy's bothering me now.

I kinda want to play my DS, but I have SUCKY games... I want to play Okami when we get home, but they moved the PS2, and it's in the game room now, and I think the children are gonna be all "GH3ROCKBANDSINGSTAR!!!1one!!!1"

he says she's going back home.

2008-03-15T17:03:00.004-05:00

Listening to: No Other One by Weezer
What I Should Be Doing: Showering or reading or flossing or something
I'm Also: Fighting a headache, wishing I had water, trying to kill writer's block, and watching Degrassi

It's spring break, and I'm not excited at all.

I got a $50 iTunes gift card as a [really] early Easter present though, so at least I'm happy about that. Even if I do still want 82 more songs.

I want to write, but I can't. Gah.

I hate myself for forgetting my iPod at my mom's.
The only time I forget it is spring break when I'll be spending like six hours in the car. WTF is up with that!?

ihopethismakesyousmile.

I think too much. Especially about people.

I just want life to stop.

Why Can't People Spell...?

2008-03-13T21:43:00.003-05:00

I hate adults that refuse to make eye contact with you when they're talking. It's like "Yeah, I'm a kid, but y'know, I can understand you. I'm listening."

Freshman year was the best year of my life.
Summer between freshman and sophomore years was the worst summer of my life.
Sophomore year is the worst year of my life.

gah.

2008-03-09T15:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Lord, driving's so much more fun when Manola's the one "teaching" me.

We're flying through the night.

2008-03-09T14:18:00.001-05:00

I've had 'run, baby, run, don't ever look back' stuck in my head for like two weeks.

I assumed it was by Run Kid Run, because the band name and the lyrics are like parallel. [Stupidest logic EVER but whatever.] But it's Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings, so. xD

I've officially been converted to wearing Vans. Last year and all summer, it was all about the Converse, and now... I only wear my Converse to concerts.

That's depressing but whatever. =)

Yeah.

That's all I have to say.

This is what my life's like.

it's hard to secretly eat oreos when you're wearing chapstick

2008-03-08T15:54:00.004-06:00

Holy shit.

Occasionally, I check out the 'That's Really Weak' music blog on Yahoo! Music. It's usually boring stuff about Britney Spears and American Idol that I skim through. That's what I did this week, except I read this paragraph:

"First, the infant daughter of rapper Juvenile was tragically gunned down last weekend, allegedly by his babymama's 17-year-old son. Our condolences go out to Juvenile's entire family at this difficult time."

That's so awful. I'm not even kidding...

I can't even begin to imagine how horrible the family must feel... Or how messed up that 17 year old must be.

These are the reasons I lose faith in society.

Someone Explain Why I Like 18th Century Satire...

2008-03-07T18:35:00.004-06:00

I just absolutely adore some people.
And freaking despise others.

I just want someone to figure out what's wrong with me.
Why do I care so little about so much?

I want a book to read and a CD to import.
I want to find Invisible Monsters and pick up Two Shoes.

I want it to be April, but I don't want to hear about my sister's new "concert experiences."
Why am I jealous?

I was going to go to a local show tonight, but my friends all bailed.
Yet I still feel like I have plans.

I wish it would rain.
I like the sounds cars make on the wet pavement.

Acoustic guitars > electric guitars.
Unless you're like [insert any of the bands I listen to here] or something.

Jordan Stewart is absolutely brilliant.
I want to find his book also, but I get the feeling the little book store a few blocks down won't have it.

I'm running out of money.
$50 for Mom's birthday present, $10 for my The Cat Empire CD, $20 for a new book...

I only have $100...
I miss the time when that seemed like a lot.

At least I saved $10 I was going to spend on the cover charge for the local show.
I get to keep $10 and write depressing blog entries.

Good deal.

So Here's To Being Alone

2008-03-02T23:17:00.005-06:00

Listening to: The City That Reads (Acoustic) by The Graduate
What I Should Be Doing: Reading the last 10 pages of chapter 29 in my history book and sleeping
I'm Also: Playing solitaire

Honestly, The City That Reads is my favorite song right now. It's just like brilliance in 4 minutes and 25 seconds. And it was free. =)

http://www.absolutepunk.net/artists/showlink.php?l=3813&catid=searchresults&searchid=2671145
That's a link to The Graduate's AbsolutePunk profile. They have a link to download the EP there. It's pretty much amazing, so you should check it out.

I've downloaded a bunch of free EPs/CDs lately, and I'm pretty happy with all of them. Free music from MySpace and Facebook's pretty awesome too.

I'm just on a free music spree at the moment. =P

I want 103 songs right now. I've got no iTunes money, so I'm pretty much going to be waiting until May 13.

In about 6 hours, I took 7 and a half pages of notes on chapters 27-29 of my history book [which is effing awful by the way], and I'm STILL not finished.

Bad habits.

I want to go to the book store so badly...

Operator, I Can't Hold Much Longer

2008-02-27T19:06:00.004-06:00

I was listening to Nobody Puts Baby in The Corner, and my tummy just got warm. Like, happy warm on the inside. Patrick's voice makes so dang happy for no effing reason.

I miss those sugar cigarettes. Y'know, that candy you buy in convenience stores, with the red tips?

Sometimes I hate how much music influences my moods.

It's quiet now, and I'm sad. Not crying-sad, just calm-sad. It's my default mood or something.

I don't want to do my math homework, but I have guitar tomorrow. Wednesday night's the only time I do my math homework at home.

Pencils are fun to chew on...

I'm plannin - never mind, I can't do anything this weekend.

Next weekend, I'm planning on walking to the CD store [with someone maybe? I wonder if I could bring my dog. Does Brent let dogs in there...?] to buy/order a Something Corporate CD. And then I'm going to the bookstore across the street to try to find Invisible Monsters, 'cause I'm a loser and want to read that. I blame Motion City Soundtrack, but whatever.

let'sgooncemoredowntothedancefloor

Powerspace Snap Bracelet is the only whole song I heard by Powerspace on Saturday. I'm glad I left though, 'cause listening to this makes my stomach drop, while their other songs are still good.

I'm so so sick of the YouTube community.

I just realized I'm typing this in "Edit HTML" mode. God, I miss 8th grade computer class.

I realized the other day that I talk to myself because I want someone to talk to. And that makes me feel so empty.

I had sushi last night, and for about six hours after dinner, I could taste it in my mouth. I should've gone with the shrimp in those california rolls.

I wish I understood the term 'time management' and that my videos turned out the way I wanted.

I should do math instead of sitting here looking at the blank paper.

Why is it that on CDs, the non-singles are always better than the singles...?

heymisterDJyou'vegottaputarecordonyeah

So tired all the time.

MUSIC.

2008-02-25T19:18:00.001-06:00

www.Jango.com

Overdramatic Kids + Internet = The YouTube Community

2008-02-24T21:18:00.003-06:00

Listening to: Lullaby by The Cat Empire
What I Should Be Doing: Doing homework, sleeping
I'm Also: Trying to upload a video to YouTube and replying to comments

I chew on things I'm not s'posed to chew on. xD

I overreacted, and I still love Powerspace. I'm gonna try to see them next time they come [which may be never, but whatever], 'cause yesterday was just bad, and I think that's why I was so angry/disappointed.

My back hurts.

SCHOOL SUCKS.

I should be doing homework right now but I'm not. Don't you feel special? :)

Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate are both really awesome, and I wish I had figured this out earlier.

Powerspace Makes Me Want to Kick 11 Year Olds and Cuss People Out

2008-02-23T22:16:00.007-06:00

Powerspace fucking sucks.

Like, they were one of my favorite bands EVER, and I left after ONE song.

BAD THINGS:
- My heels hurt like fuck from standing on them/tapping my foot for two hours.
- I wasted $15 on a ticket to see them, and $30 for my friends' [who didn't go] tickets.
- The girl I spit on jumped ON my feet about six times.
- I scuffed my awesome shoes [the converse with like seven signatures].
- This REALLY hairy guy stood in front of me, and I couldn't see anything for like ten minutes.
- I learned that Powerspace is a band full of fucking losers [for example: they spent like five minutes talking about leaving on the same street as the bands they were touring with, the same block as Kanye West, and having barbecues with them all].
- Simply listening to Powerspace made me want to 1. kick the girl in front of me really hard and 2. cry.
- I smell like cigarette smoke.
- People TOUCHED me.
- I tried to take pictures during the first song [they sucked, but I thought that maybe they'd get better and that I should just take pictures while I waited for them to NOT suck], and the fucking 11 year olds in front of me were all "LET'S HOLD OUR CAMERAS ON OUR HEADS AND TAKE PICTURES EVEN THOUGH WE'RE AT THE VERY FRONT!!!"
- I haven't been this mad at people in a really long time.
- I wasted $30 on a hoodie that I'll probably never wear, because Powerspace FUCKING SUCKS.
- Tom WHATEVER dyed his hair BLOND.
- Whenever a band came on, the 11 year olds would scream for the lead singer or the one they thought was "hott" and NONE of the other guys. It's a BAND, losers. IT'S ABOUT THE MUSIC.
- My tummy hurt and I honestly thought I was going to vomit about four times.
- While I was waiting for Powerspace to come on, I chewed on my water bottle until my mouth tasted like blood.
- The fucking 11 year olds constantly took pictures of each other and BLINDED THE HELL OUT OF ME.
- I wasted 2 hours and 45 minutes of my LIFE.
- I honestly just want to punch Alec CWHATEVERYOURNAMESUCKS in the face.
- I have one less poster on my wall.

- I'm SWEATY.

GOOD THINGS:
- Their merch guy/tour manager was nice, and he was wearing a This Providence T-shirt.
- The hoodie I spent 30 fucking dollars on is cool looking.
- I was introduced to/saw Fairview.
- I got to yell at a girl that hit a woman with a water bottle. ["HEY BITCH, YOU HIT A LADY. I MEAN, LIKE, AN ADULT. NOT COOL. NOT COOL."]
- I got to spit on a girl that was friends with the girl that hit the lady with a water bottle.
- I took two pictures of the REALLY hairy guy, and he moved.
- I got to growl at a guy because he took my spot.

Now that I've deleted Powerspace from my iTunes, my favorite bands section on Facebook, my favorite bands section on YouTube, my favorite bands section on absolutepunk, thrown my phone at the wall, thrown the fucking $30 hoodie at the hangers in my closet, and torn up my ticket and my wristband, I'm contemplating selling The Kicks of Passion back to Brent.

Hopefully he'll take such a sucky CD back.

I doubt it. It's just too filled with SUCK.

eh.

2008-02-23T18:05:00.002-06:00

Listening to: the fan on my laptop
What I Should Be Doing: texting my friend about the concert tonight
I'm Also: trying not to cry, trying to decide what to do

I've been waiting for tonight for like two months, and now that it's here, I don't even want to go to the concert.

I know from experience that concerts by yourself aren't really that fun.

Today has been long.

Birthday party, funeral, concert?

I'll just feel awkward, 'cause I'll be there by myself.

Plus I don't know whether my friends are going to want to do something else tonight, if they need a distraction.

Poop.

2008-02-17T19:12:00.003-06:00

Listening to: Bob by NOFX
What I Sh - It's a 3 day weekend.
I'm Also: Talking to Anna, updating Facebook, and thinking about going to play The Sims 2.

Three day weekends officially suck. =)

Yesterday was good, but not like "yesterday was so good!" More like a tiny bit better than average. I mean, I got to see Lindsey, so that's cool. And I got to go to one of my favorite events in my city so that was cool. But I wasn't even happy last night like I am when it's been a good day.

Harvey Danger's awesome. At least their CD Little by Little is. Well, I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I really like the stuff I have heard. It's free; go download it from their site.

Tomorrow's gonna be worse than today, and today was pretty awful. :)

My mom told me earlier "to make the most of the weekend," but I won't. I never do. I always end up doing nothing and wishing I had and sulking and being enormously unhappy.

I feel like I'm never happy.

I put the songs from The Sims 2 on my iPod and I haven't listened to one of them [Look Alive] since December 28, 2006. Beautiful, isn't it?

I had a ton of junk food yesterday and today, but now I want like ice cream.

I think my parents are worried about me.

"Ainslee, Erase That Right Now!"

2008-02-16T01:26:00.006-06:00

Listening to: It's Not Over by Secondhand Serenade
What I Should Be Doing: Charging my phone or sleeping
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, yawning, playing Solitaire, hiding from people, writing

I'm s'posed to go to the mall tomorrow with my buddies. =) I hope we do, 'cause I haven't seen Lindsey and Lauren since before finals. And that sucks. So. Yes.

Dang it, I'm going to go charge my phone.

Secondhand Serenade's like my new favorite band, except really not. I've just been listening to slow[er]/calm songs recently.

Sometimes I worry about society. There are really good examples of what's wrong with society on YouTube. There are also really good examples of what's awesome about society on YouTube.

Umri.

Some people are just so brilliant that it just makes me enormously happy. Those people just make my day. They're usually the hysterically funny people too for some reason.

Supposed To Be There Too [Mike Park] = Brilliance. The beginning reminds me of a world in Kingdom Hearts. I can't remember which one it is though.

Poop.

I swear I'm actually like four years old.

Okay. Sure, breast cancer needs to be cured. BUT so does every other kind of cancer. What about the people with stomach cancer? The ones with tumors in their brains? What do we do with them? Ignore them while we raise money for the people with breast cancer? It's great that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure has raised awareness and money. But seriously. How many times have you heard about lung cancer in the past month?

Poof.

Wegetbyjustfinehereonminimumwage.Ifloveisalabor,I'llslavetilltheend.

Diane Wilson came to talk to our school the other day. She was interesting to listen to, but I'm not sure I agree. I really don't know much about what she was talking about though, so maybe that's why. Uh. She talked about going on a hunger strike for 4 months, and NOBODY got that. For the next two days, EVERYONE was talking about how it was possible to not eat for four months. Someone said they switched out. Which I think is stupid and not impressive at all. Someone else said they just drank liquids. Which is more impressive unless the liquids are milkshakes and smoothies. Another person said they just ate bread and water. Which is not impressive, because they're still eating.

Eh. I don't understand myself.

ButI'msotiredofdaysthatfeellikethenight.

titles are overrated. so's capitilization.

2008-02-10T23:47:00.001-06:00

I miss Lindsey and Lauren and Manola all at once.

And I want biscuits from KFC.

2008-02-10T01:41:00.001-06:00

When I say I worry about society, I'm not excluding myself.

Living in Fast Forward = Not Fun.

2008-02-10T01:24:00.000-06:00

Listening to: Class Reunion (That Used to Be Us) by Lonestar
What I Should Be Doing: Driver's Ed or Homework or sleeping
I'm Also: Reading fan fiction and backing up the files on my computer

I don't know what's wrong with me. Today, I wanted to cry about four times for absolutely no reason. I didn't cry any of the times, but I really wanted to.

You know when you get into somebody else's car and it just smells different? I want that feeling right now.

I kind of hate myself this year. And I - I just want to go back to last year.

I start listening to Kenny Chesney when I kind of want to cry.

I'm oh-so-jealous of The Academy Is... I just want to hug them all. =( I don't even know why, I'm just like 'YOU'RE MY HERO!' Eh.

Powerspace in 13 days. I should really figure out what their name's are... *shame*

What Exactly IS Castor Oil Anyway...?

2008-02-08T23:17:00.000-06:00

Listening to: The fan on my computer
What I Should Be Doing: Washing my face
I'm Also: Playing Solitaire, reading fan fiction, and checking my e-mail

Anna's sick and didn't come to school today, and Whitney left during lunch, because she has the flu. Anna's not sure what she has, but it's possible she also has the flu.

I don't want the flu. =(

I feel awful for them both though. Anna sounds absolutely miserable, and Whitney's turning 16 this Sunday. So that seriously sucks, man.

Uh... I'm EXHAUSTED right now. Like, I'm half-asleep as I type this.

I'm wearing headphones, but I haven't listened to anything in like five hours...?

Today, in Latin, I learned that castor oil may have been made of stuff from beaver testicles? But maybe not. So, ew.

Okay. I'm off to wash my face and then I'm gonna try to write a tiny bit and then I'm going to bed.

So, Is This What You Wanted? Too Bad, It's What You Got.

2008-02-03T22:49:00.000-06:00

Listening to: You're Making It Come Alive by My Favorite Highway
What I Should Be Doing: B.S.ing my assignment for digital video, studying for my WHAP/Algebra 2 tests, doing Algebra 2 test corrections, doing my Chem problems, sleeping
I'm Also: Talking to Anna and Whitney, wishing YouTube would load, trying not to cry, and missing Allie

I kind of hate life right now.

I've sworn off all mainstream music that I don't already know about. [I'm still gonna listen to FOB, but I'm not going to check out Cobra Starship or any new bands.]

I can't talk about music to anyone. Ever. It only leads to crappy crappy situations.

Plane rides suck.

So does digital video.

And life.

I'm getting really sick of everything.

Every single one of my classes is pointless. Seriously. I can't think of ONE thing I'll actually use EVER.

Guitar class has become more like a therapy session.

I hate crying, but I've done it so much this year... I miss last year so much it's not even funny.

I hate musically diverse people.

This weekend was awful, especially because we had Friday off. I just slept through it and then went to the airport.

Complete crap.

I want three CDs, and I'm going to have to walk down to the CD store alone to order them.

I spent the last of my iTunes money on Thursday night.

The more I think about it, the worse I feel.

I guess I should stop thinking. I mean, that's how I got through two funerals in two weeks.

I want to go to my concert. I'll be hanging out with two of my best friends and seeing one of my favorite bands all at once, so it should be good. It better be.

I'm sick of feeling so alone.

My mom blames everything on my dad, but... I don't think that's the problem. I like my dad better than her.

Why was I so happy last year? I don't even remember being happy before that.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers suck.

I - I need to do my homework.

But I don't know how to correct Algebra 2, do any of the Chem problems I have left, B.S. digital video, or study for history.

So.

Yeah.

Stalker flight attendants are really scary.

Where's the Fan Remote When You Need It? mental breakdown

2008-02-02T00:31:00.000-06:00

I'm Listening to: ...But What Will They Say? by This Providence
What I Should Be Doing: Sleeping.
I'm Also: Playing Solitaire, reading fanfiction, and replying to comments on my YouTube videos

I have one video with 49,487 views at the moment. It also has 205 comments. It's been up for about a year and two months, and I'm still getting comments on it... It's kinda annoying, but hey, at least people are watching it, right? xD

One.

I love getting feedback on my videos, especially from insanely brilliant people. Seriously, man. I didn't know people were these dang awesome. :)

Two.

It's refreshing to find people that don't use capitalization/punctation AND are actually intelligent. It's amazing, actually. Restores my faith in society.

My alt key's falling off still.

I think Slash is overrated, and I'm addicted to absolutepunk.net. Even though I don't post. I just read the forums... Sad? Oh yes.

My sisters just came in, covered me with circular stickers, and then left.

Uh. Yeah.

In the dreams I've had lately, I text my friend Lauren. It's weird. Maybe I feel like texting her?

2:27 - 2:36 of Poetic Tragedy is BRILLIANT. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT.

Ugh. I can't stop saying brilliant...

Bang, Bang, Shoot 'Em Up, Yeah

2008-02-01T00:27:00.000-06:00

Listening to: 30 seconds of Nine in the Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco
What I Should Be Doing: Washing my face, changing into pajamas, and going to bed
I'm Also: Wishing my lips weren't so chapped

I want to read, but I feel like I never have time.

It's great, because I can't figure out how to buy Panic!'s new single, so I'm listening to like the preview. *dull look* I'm just like clicking 'Nine in the Afternoon - Single' like a billion times and it keeps taking me to the album pre-order page. Go die, iTunes.

I'm STARVING for some reason. Seriously. It's not like I didn't eat dinner.

Sorry, NOFX, I can't afford your song right now. I promise I'll buy it later. Maybe. I lied. I can afford it. But now I kind of want to buy The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin instead of Bob by NOFX. Ah well. GAWD, iTUNES! MUST YOU BE SO STUPID!? Just buy the freaking songs. *pout* ... I've been sitting here messing with iTunes for like 40 minutes, and I can't effing buy the songs. FINALLY. Apple's pretty screwed up, man.

ANYWAY. Today, this guy with crazy sideburns and long hair that my parents randomly know [...?] thought my brother was a girl. It was SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS. Though Hunter was NOT happy. =) I think he heard me and my sister laughing when he was leaving and he came back to apologize and was all "It's cool that you have long hair."

Uh. Yeah. :)

*gasp!* Only 2 smileys!

Hopefully I'm getting better at that.

I'm trying to get into smaller bands [yeah, again], so I looked at what lists of 'indie bands.' There were a few I was like "Uh, not indie" and a few I was like "GOD THIS SUCKS," but I'm not very far in, and there've been at least three good ones. So. Maybe it'll get easier.

One of the bands didn't sell their songs on iTunes, and it's not on Limewire, so I dunno where to get it, and I like it. =(

Three smileys.

The title's Anna's fault, because I keep buying Cobra Starship's random singles. They're just that amazing. Well, the ones I've listened to. Which isn't many. But she loves the band, so I'm assuming they're that amazing. Yeah. Uh. *dances*

"Next Time You Be The Bait!"

2008-01-28T22:27:00.000-06:00

Listening to: For the Longest Time by Sherwood
What I Should Be Doing: ENGLISH! AND CHEM!
I'm Also: ... Doing nothing, actually.

So I skipped a song on iTunes when it's minimized to my start bar, right? Okay.

I'm waiting for the song. And waiting. And waiting. I can faintly hear crickets, and I'm thinking "WTF?" [I'm overusing that now. *whine*]

Then, just as I'm about to maximize the window and figure out what song it is, I hear this loud roaring noise. And screaming.

THANK YOU, FALL OUT BOY. I BOUGHT YOUR EFFING MUSIC VIDEO FOR $1.99, AND YOU FREAK ME OUT.

GAH.

As much as I love the music video for A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me, I wish it wouldn't RANDOMLY play on my iTunes. =(

Sundays Suck

2008-01-27T20:42:00.000-06:00

Listening to: When I'm With You by Simple Plan
What I Should Be Doing: Showering.
I'm Also: TRYING DESPERATELY TO PLAN TO GO TO HCT IN A CITY AN HOUR AWAY, checking Facebook, and surfing songsmeaning.net

Parents out of town + waking up at like 1 PM + IHOP + driving by a bridge 3 times to see if the guys standing next to it were in This Providence + playing tic tac toe on a water bottle while Reign of Kindo played + discovering The Higher + seeing and meeting This Providence + "You're shoes are filled with goodness" = amazingly awesome day. =)

This happened back in November, by the way. xD

Sorry.

It's oh-so-possible I may get to see Motion City Soundtrack after all. AND THAT'D BE SO FLIPPING AWESOME.

I love you, Anna's parents. SERIOUSLY.

I actually finished my homework before 8 today! THAT'S LIKE A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

I'm finished.

I'm trying not to over use smileys, 'cause I do that SOOO much. Like every other sentence. I'm addicted! *sobsob*

I’m So Tired of Days That Feel Like the Night

2008-01-25T18:49:00.001-06:00

Listening to: Love Song by Sara Bareilles [that's hard to spell.]
What I Should Be Doing: Nothing, really.
I'm Also: Chewing gum, reading Sims 2 stories, playing Solitaire, wishing I had more acoustic songs, and moping.

Today kind of sucked for the most part, and now my stomach's bothering me.

Maybe it's the gum... I'm also like crazy tired for some reason, and my head hurts.

We had a talent show today. We were required to go, but I didn't mind 'cause I thought it'd be neat. Unfortunately, every act wasn't really that neat. Actually, it's more just that there was at least one thing wrong with each. [One of them couldn't sing, they messed up the lyrics, the drums were too loud, etc.] I'm kind of ashamed of how talentless our school is, especially since there really weren't very many acts.

Ah well.

I checked out Everybody Hurts from the school library [though I have NO idea why they even had it...?], so that was good.

Uh. Bleh.

This Providence = love.

HONDA CIVIC TOUR = SUCK!!!.

2008-01-25T00:55:00.000-06:00

I hate the people that schedule the Honda Civic Tour.

EVERYONE SKIPS MY CITY.

I'd pay $200 a ticket to see The Hush Sound AND Motion City Soundtrack [!] AND Panic! at the Disco [I refuse to drop the !.]

I hate this.

And I refuse to buy Panic!'s new album, because of it.

*sigh*

I honestly cried for almost an hour when I saw the tour dates.

And you suck, Phantom Planet.

Rebel Without a Cause

2008-01-24T21:06:00.000-06:00

I took notes when I watched Rebel Without a Cause because I have to write a movie review. =)

HERE THEY ARE BECAUSE I WANT TO UPDATE MY BLOG BUT DON'T WANT TO TYPE UP AN ENTRY:

- Jerky panning
- Music – very dramatic
- Random parts, that didn’t seem necessary [like sneeze in planetarium]
- Some of the audio seemed weird or off or something
- Continuity issues (untucked shirt, then tucked shirt, etc.)
- Interesting to see two sides of the story/the stories of Jim and Judy
- Some cuts seemed too soon or too quick; seems like it cut some of the audio off
- Don’t understand what’s up with the kid that likes to comb his hair... [name?] – OH. HE’S JOHN! I’M SUCH AN IDIOT!!! HE’S THE KID THAT SHOT THE PUPPIES!!! – he’s also a creepy stalker. – his nickname’s Plato
- Insanely confused
- Scream when Buzz went off the cliff seemed fake
- The upside down shot when Jim was lying upside down on the couch was kind of awesome
- Seemed like Jim was kind of throwing temper tantrums
- Seemed too echoey in the living/family room
- THE CHICKEN FREAKED ME OUT.
- Why aren’t the parents like “Why are all these people asking about my son...?”
- Judy, John, Jim – they all start with J. Why?
- Why did Plato shoot the puppies?
- Judy got over Buzz WAAAAY too quickly; like, if my boyfriend just died, I don’t think I’d be all “LET’S GO TO AN ABANDONED HOUSE WITH THIS GUY I MET THIS MORNING AND CUDDLE AND LAUGH AND PRETEND TO BE NEWLYWEDS THAT WANT TO BUY A HOUSE.”
- AUDIO = WEIRD.
- Abandoned house reminds me of Sunset Boulevard
- Plato’s a little too weird... Like he’s creepy... O.o He’s all “I’M GOING TO STALK JIM BECAUSE I WANT TO MARRY HIM. HE’S SO DREAMY.”
- And what’s with Plato falling asleep on the ground...? In like five seconds?
- I love how right when they leave Plato asleep outside, Judy’s friends show up.
- Honestly, Judy, you’ve only known him for a day. What’s wrong with you...? Didn’t your boyfriend like JUST die? LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO!?! WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH JIM!? I know it’s a movie, but COME ON.
- You don’t love Jim. Honestly. Just shut the fuzz up. You’re just in denial, and want to love someone because your dad hates you.
- That’d be so scary to wake up to... It’s like “AH GORILLA MAN! AND THAT GUY WITH THE UGLY HAT! AND THE GUY WHO’S EYEBROWS DON’T MATCH!”
- The music hurts my ears.
- Dive, Plato, DIIIIIIIIVE. GUN!? WHY THE FRICK DID YOU KEEP THE FRICKING GUN?
- Where’d Judy and Jim go...? Weren’t they like right there?
- I don’t know why you wouldn’t look under the table. Don’t shoot them, Jim. They didn’t do anything to you. Okay, lie. They did. But still.
- “Let’s clobber someone with this candlestick!”
- Who’s crying? Is it Plato, because it sounds like Judy...
- I don’t get the ‘Support For Son’ thing that Plato found.
- Plato + gun = VERY BAD.
- When he shot Crunch [name?] it was such a WEIRD fall... REALLY fake.
- Plato obviously wants Jim to take the place of his dad and that’s why he’s like “WHY’D YOU LEAVE ME!? YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER!”
- Let’s roll in the bushes.
- THE HOUSE TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF SUNSET BOULEVARD.
- Stop shooting the police, man...
- More bush rolling.
- I’m having too much fun with this.
- “The police are after us, so let’s make out!”
- Plato <3s Jim.
- He’s trying to make them his family? SERIOUSLY MAN THEY – LOL! HE’S ALL “BE MY MOMMY AND DADDY! I’M A PSYCHO!”
- I bet Plato dies in the end.
- Y’all like breaking windows.
- I love that they all just jump in the bushes. It’s amazing. It’s like “I have to hide, let’s JUMP!!!”
- I hate Jim’s parents. And Judy’s. I like that you never see Plato’s.
- DRAMATIC IRONY. “There’s some other kids in trouble.” OH YEAH, BUT THEY’RE YOUR KIDS. xD
- Aw, I feel bad for Plato’s nanny or whatever she is. She’s worried about him. =(
- “Come out” of the closet, Plato.
- “That’s my son!” HAHAHAHA. “HOLD YOUR FIRE!” “ARE YOU SURE!?” “I think I know my son.”
- I don’t like Judy’s hair.
- Shoot ‘im, Plato. “You can shoot me if you want to. Okay?” HI-LARIOUS.
- “I’ve got a gun.” “Yeah, I knowww...” ... “How are you?” “Fine.” “That’s fine.” “Jim? Do you think the end of the world will come at nighttime?” “Mmmnn. At dawn. Come on, hehe, where are you? Whatcha hidin’ for?” SHOOT JIM, PLATO.
- I don’t like this. Plato’s a psycho.
- Aw, Plato. You look like Josh from Drake and Josh.
- Plato seems a ton younger than Jim. He’s like those puppies that he shot.
- OH COME ON. BACK TO THE BEGINNING. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE PLATO HIS JACKET.
- “Can I keep it?” – WEIRDEST THING EVER. WHY IS HE STROKING IT?
- Shoot him.
- *hugs the gun* “No, I need it.”
- “You promised to give it back.” – CREEPO.
- “Every one of them wants to see that you’re safe.”
- Why? HAHAHA. I’m a bad person. :
- THAT MAKES A SMILEY!? WOOT.
- God, Plato is a LITTLE KID. Seriously.
- The slow motion when Plato got shot fit really well...
- That’s one sucky first day of school.
- Plato has his shoe on the foot with the blue sock and then it switches when you see the close up. CONTINUITY!
- I love how a kid had to die to get his dad to be strong for his son. :
- He’s dead, innit he?
- AW! His nanny/housekeeper lady!
- The police suck. =(
- Why does Judy care more about Plato than her boyfriend? I mean, it was sad, but STILL.
- And why are the parents smiling!?
- I like that the whole thing took place in like 24 hours. Well, a little more than that, but still.

Cats are Stupid

2008-01-21T23:34:00.001-06:00

Listening to: Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack
What I Should Be Doing: Reading Act 4 of Macbeth or SLEEPING!!!
I'm Also: Talking to Allie

The Hot Topic I go to smells like babies.

I was looking at a magazine in Hot Topic with my friends, and I saw a little comic [like one panel] in the corner, and I automatically thought "That looks like Mitch Clem's comics!" And then I looked for the artist name and it was Mitch Clem.

And then I realized that I have absolutely NO life. :D

My friends and I spent like 6-7 hours at the mall today, and my legs HURT SO BADLY.

Even though I don't know if I can even go to the HCT, I've been listening to my MCS playlist OVER AND OVER, 'cause I want to memorize all the words to all the songs. =P

You'retheemptinessthewholeworldsingsatnight... [Hold Me Down - Motion City Soundtrack]

I love them more than I should. :)

Why Can't I Trust Anyone - No, Not Even Me?

2008-01-20T14:52:00.000-06:00

Listening to: I Wanna Do It All by Terri Clark
What I Should Be Doing: Driver's Ed
I'm Also: Wishing I was hanging out/laughing with my friends, wondering why I think about TAI... so much, being thirsty, playing solitaire, writing crud that's pretty dang awful, and waiting for someone to talk to me on Yahoo! Messenger

Super Bowl tickets range from $4,000 to $8,000. I had no idea they cost that much. I wish my sister didn't have softball tryouts, 'cause the Packers are playing and that's my dad's favorite team. He says seeing us is better than football, but I still feel awful and angry at my mom.

Uhm. I want to buy Interventions and Lullabies by The Format and Like Vines by The Hush Sound and some CD by Cobra Starship. I need more money, especially since I'm planning on buying at least two tickets to the HONDA CIVIC TOUR.

I forgot to lend Manola my Powerspace CD and give her back The Higher's CD that she bought but I have.

My bangs are bothering me. I want a haircut.

My laptop's burning my leg right through my jeans.

Okay, another song lyric I wish I wrote:
"We may suffer together, but we all die alone."

I wish I was happy.

I'm lonely.

Funerals are awful, and so are the quiet car rides home. Especially when you're leaving family that you won't see again until someone else dies.

What's wrong with me?

Secondhand Serenade is my new favorite band. Except not. But they make up a good portion of my 'Calm Songs' playlist, and I've noticed that I've been listening to that more than anything else recently.

Bass = Fishies or Guitars?

2008-01-18T23:25:00.000-06:00

Listening to: Beer by Psychostick
What I Should Be Doing: Working on Driver's Ed/Nothing. =)
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, reading Sims 2 stories, playing Solitaire, and happydancing because I finally tell the difference between Jesse and Matt from MCS.

I don't get why people think I can write... Or why they think I'm creative, or have artistic talent, or any of that crud.

'Cause I can't write, and I'm not creative, and I don't have artistic talent. xD

But people insist on like pretending I do...

The Cat Empire's Australian and therefore awesome. xP

I want to go to the mall for no reason.

I think my dad's missing the Super Bowl so my babysitter doesn't have to take my sister to softball tryouts.

GO ME. I know who's who in Motion City Soundtrack before. Woo. =P

It only took me like four days of looking at pictures. :

Uh.

Go, Go, Go to the Next Stateline

2008-01-17T23:01:00.000-06:00

eListening to: Given Up by Linkin Park
What I Should Be Doing: Sleeping since I haven't gone to bed before midnight at all this week, and doing my Algebra 2 homework since I have 10 insanely long problems left
I'm Also: Wondering where I put my watch when I took it off after my shower and hoping one of my friends will be awesome enough to print out my English questions for me in the morning

Okay, what the heck's up with Ozarka's "Eco-Shape Bottle?" I know it's been like this for over a year, but seriously, man.

"Our bottle looks and feels different because it is purposely designed with an average of 30% less plastic* to be easier on the environment. We can all make a difference, please recycle." [*Versus comparable size, leading beverage brands.]

Will it make a difference if we don't recycle? Like, seriously?

Anyway, I hate the "new" look. It annoys me. It's always falling out of the pocket for water bottles on my backpack and it just looks stupid. Urgh.

Yeah. =) Uhm. I have to go see Brent. I was gonna go today but it gets dark so quickly...

Ah well.

I HATE GRAPHING. SO OBNOXIOUS.

It's not like we'll ever use Algebra 2. *face*

I can see us using Algebra 1 and Geometry, but the second Algebra = no.

Why do I like these three songs by Cobra Starship so much...?

The title's from Eighty-Eights by Farewell. They're pretty awesome.

Antimatter?

2008-01-16T18:02:00.001-06:00

Listening to: The fan on my laptop
What I Should Be Doing: Reading Act 3 of Macbeth, reading 50 pages of crud about Augustus for Latin, reading two chapters for WHAP, doing my Algebra 2 homework
I'm Also: Checking my e-mail and playing solitaire

Okay. We were in the library on the computers today in my history class, and my friend Allie went to www.yahoo.com [instead of planning her timed writing like she was supposed to be doing. xD I didn't do mine either...] She said something about really liking that one of the featured articles was called "Clowns 'Universally Disliked' by Children." There were a few other articles, including one called "4 Factors That Make a Man Want To Marry." We were joking around and told her to click on that. She did.

This is what came up:

Four factors that make a man want to marry:
1. Antimatter
2. Antimatter
3. Antimatter
4. Antimatter

I think this is hilarious. xD Also, I Googled 'baby noises' while we were there. Try it. The second link is a "Baby Noises Soundboard" and I find it hilarious for some reason. =D

[What's up with the color? It came out black and wouldn't show up so I had to change it to gray...?]

I'm a loser.

Apparently my friend's CD came in a day early, because Brent left me a voicemail saying it came in today, but it wasn't s'posed to be there till tomorrow...?