For a long time, I boasted that I didn't care about what anyone else thought of me. And for a while, I even believed that about myself.

However, I realized at some point in the last year that I used that as an excuse to do whatever I wanted. It allowed me to a bitch, guilt-free.

It allowed me to criticize people for faults I embody more than they do. It allowed me to cultivate a very negative pessimistic view of the world. It allowed me to trick myself into thinking I was actually better than some of my peers.

But I do care what people think. The opinions of the people whom I respect are important to me.
Mostly because I don't want to be that girl that people dislike.

This does not have so much to do with my reputation as it does my effect on others.

We affect everyone we interact with everyday. I would much rather leave a positive effect than a negative one; I would rather make someone feel good about themselves or make their day just a little more tolerable than throw them into anger and self-doubt.


I'm sorry.