i get shit done. (not. haha.)

i put more pictures up on my walls today.
added some to my desk and frames too.
i'm so productive, right? hahaha.
my walls still have a lot of room left to fill but i only have a month left of school so i'm not too worried.
i need to get a print for my g.k. chesterton quote - the five photos and one notecard that says "thing," haha. that's not permanent - that notecard will be a photo like the others as soon as i get my snapfish shipment in. 


ignore the fact that my bed is a disaster, haha.

mmm.

recently, my breakfast has consisted of an apple and some almond butter.

it's not the prettiest snack in the world, but it's sooo tasty. i could live off of it, for sure. at least until i run out of apples (i only have one left)...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ainsleem/

winter break.

so i have officially finished my first semester as a college student.

it's funny, really, because i was so worried about starting school. terrified, even.

and i mean, it hasn't been as scary as i thought it would be. i had a good first few months - hiking, joking around, taking ridiculous pictures, going to parties. but when i realized that the friends i thought i had were really... not people i wanted to be hanging out with, things went downhill. actually, i was unhappy even before that.

once i removed them from my life, i was significantly happier, although a tiny bit lonelier. i have moved from having an admittedly small group of friends to one friend. i mean, i hang out with her friends too, and i'm friendly with kids around, but it's weird.

the academics have been both easier and harder than i imagined. i didn't realize they graded so easily, but i also didn't realize that "weather and atmosphere" was going to be so difficult to understand. 

it hasn't been bad, per se, but it has been interesting.

i feel like i've learned a lot about my self from the social experiences i've had so far - i feel like once i'm friends with someone, i have to continue to be friends with them; i am sometimes uncomfortable around people i don't know because i'm used to knowing everyone, etc. etc.

anyway, i'm really looking forward to next semester, when i get to meet new people, make new friends, take new classes, meet my new roommate. it should be interesting.

in the meantime.....

college.

now that i know where i'm going to college, all i ever hear about is what i need to do now to prepare for next fall.


sororitiesfootballticketshousingmealplansmajorsparentsweekend


i'm not even done with high school yet, and college is already freaking me out.


it seems like the closer it gets to graduation, the less excited i am for college.
college is scary, obviously, but i'm been perceiving it as this huge change.
when maybe all it really is is a different version of high school.

2010

So in 145 days, I'll be a high school graduate. (Finally!) I am incredibly excited to be done with high school forever. I like the people, but I'm more than happy to leave everything else behind. I've been at this school for fifteen years, which is practically an eternity, as I'm only seventeen.

To be honest, I'm horrified just as much as I'm excited. Leaving the only school I've ever known will be almost as weird as leaving home. Graduating means that I'll be heading off to college next year, living on my own, hundreds of miles (at least) from my parents.

2010, a year I've vowed to make fantastic, means a new school, new friends, a new city. It's scary in an exciting way, and I obviously have eight months to get over that fear, but it still scares me a little.

Mmmm.

I thought about blogging everyday in 2010, but the odds of that actually happening are very slim.

Maybe once a week.

I just feel like I'm not living in the moment at all.

How cheesy does that sound?
But I really do want to experience this year.

I’m Bad at Making Friends

Listening to: I Caught Fire by The Used
What I Should Be Doing: Rereading the Chemistry chapters

Um. We went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, and I annoyed my mom to the point where she wouldn’t talk to me anymore. xD But I didn’t do it on purpose. I was just trying to look for the best in people, rather than automatically assuming they all suck. *nod*

I asked her what she would do if she had never seen me before and I asked if I could hug her. She said she’d probably walk away [like Jack the camera guy. Though all I really wanted was a picture with him... Or just of him. xD] and then she was all “Think about their daily lives and how people are always like ‘ILOVEYOU!’ and how they’re just using him and stuff.” [I had told her earlier that I yelled “ILOVEYOU” to one of the guys that was setting up for TAI.] I was like “How am I using him?!” and she’s like “Well, you don’t really love him; love’s not a one way relationship” or something and I’m just like “... I know that. I didn’t tell the camera guy that I loved him, I just wanted a picture of him.” And she goes into how they’re all on drugs ‘cause it’s easy and how they all get married and then get divorced ‘cause they don’t try or something. And I’m just like “Yeah. But you don’t know that the camera guy’s on drugs or that the band even is.” And then my brother’s all “You just said that because they’re famous and that’s the only reason you like them.” And I’m like “NO! They’re crazy awesome and they’re really not all that famous and they’re not even IN THE BAND!”

Basically everyone got ticked off.

And then I said that I hated college and asked if I had to pay for gas [which I was really just wondering about] and by the end of it all, my mom was really mad. Yeah.

I dunno. I’m not gonna assume that everybody in every band is on drugs. I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. That’s kind of unreasonable anyway. I dunno. It’s dumb.

My brother’s fortune cookie fortune was “If your cookie is in two pieces, the answer is yes.” I love that SO much that it’s not funny. xD

I’m getting my wisdom teeth, which SUCKS. There’s this flap of skin and it’s all raw/sore and it hurts. =( And today just kinda stunk. X(

I’m totally gonna bring my laptop to school tomorrow to post all the crud. Except I can’t get to YouTube or check my mail. But OH WELL.

If we watch my footage tomorrow, I’ll scream.

My dogs chewed up my cell phone. *face* I’m mad. At least it still works.

I wrote this on the 8th. It's going up on the 10th. Deal.