she whispers something in my ear; the message is unclear.

I can't concentrate on anything. It's unfortunate.

My stomach is upset with me for some reason, and I'm not feeling all that great overall. Mentally and physically.

I had another good/bad day. Although my days are rarely amazing, I hardly ever stay in a bad mood all day. Something good happens or someone cheers me up. Sometimes I go home unhappy, but it's rare that I was like that all day. I had that anatomy test today, which I'm pretty sure I failed because I didn't know any of the short answer. Sure, that's probably my fault, but I'm studying the only way I know how. I read the entire chapter, highlighted, took in depth notes, studied those notes intensely, but it doesn't matter apparently. I was incredibly angry after that test - like angrier than I've been in years, honestly - and I couldn't do anything but just go study for APUSH some more. Just to make myself feel a little better, I tore out all my anatomy notes, threw them in my locker, and then ripped up my genetics notes before sitting down with the Princeton Review. I liked English today though; we talked about the end of the year, and I felt like such a part of the group - which isn't all that unusual, but is always nice nevertheless. Yearbook, photo, and history were okay. I was still unhappy, but I wasn't angry anymore.

But instead of going to assembly today, future AP English Lit kids had a meeting with our future teacher to choose the author for our future research paper [and summer reading]. That stressed me out more than anything. I have absolutely no idea how to choose. I freaked out the entire time, even though I was the 49th person to choose [after switching numbers with four of my friends for a later number]. I asked for more time, but I was incredibly stressed out and anxious about everything again. We went straight to lunch, and while we were waiting in line, my friends started talking about the anatomy test; I was so emotionally unstable that I was literally two seconds away from crying and I was sort of yelling and swearing, but whatever. Once we got to the table, the day got better. I don't even know why, but for some reason, the conversation at lunch cheered me up. And then M.E. started writing all over me in free period and screwing with my computer so I hit her a bunch of times, but she wouldn't stop and then she complained to me. Whatever.

We studied after school and that made me feel better because I think I know a lot more than I realize. [PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEBETRUE.]

Listening to Last Night by Motion City Soundtrack, At First Sight and Home by Jay Brannan, You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol, She's Leaving Home by The Beatles, God Gave Me a Gun by Alive in Wild Paint, Hey by Backseat Goodbye [damn I took forever to write this.]
Days until the APUSH exam: 3
Days until graduation: 388

someday you will get the best of me.

I told myself the other day that I'd try to blog everyday for a while [like BEDA but a month late], because this is really the only self-reflection that I do [ever] and I wanna see if my writing changes. I dunno; we'll see.

I should most definitely be reading my pieces on feminism/working on my feminism assertion or studying for the BAZILLION tests I have, but I can't bring myself to work on any of it. Instead, I watch stupid YouTube videos and write shit blog entries. And realizing just how music ADD I am.

I - I don't listen to music anymore, really. Just in the car so it's not silent. But... I don't know. Shows are still fun, and I lovelovelove them, but they're not the same as they were. Just a different feeling to the whole thing. Maybe I'm growing out of it or some shit.

We got the book of our class's personal essays back today in AP English Language. I despise my personal essay, and seeing it published makes me want to cry a little.

I hate that our teachers moved our anatomy test after I had already studied and mine won't tell us what's going to be on there, so I'm like "well. I studied, but usually when I study, I fail anyway." I'll probably do badly, but at least I'll get it over with. I'm scared for the anatomy final; I'm going to have to do well, 'cause, well, I've done really badly in the class. Ugh. My teacher REFUSES to believe that I actually read and didn't have any questions about the material, so he said he was going to give me a bad grade for not asking questions. That's just ridiculous. You're going to give me a bad grade because I UNDERSTOOD THE MATERIAL?! Ugh. I just hate that class overall.

Obviously, I don't have a lot to talk about. I'm mostly just procrastinating. I don't want to read/study. Feminism isn't my thing, and APUSH is freaking scary.

Listening to Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack, Sunshine by Matt Costa, Super Honeymoon by Owl City, Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3

Sundays Suck

Listening to: When I'm With You by Simple Plan
What I Should Be Doing: Showering.
I'm Also: TRYING DESPERATELY TO PLAN TO GO TO HCT IN A CITY AN HOUR AWAY, checking Facebook, and surfing songsmeaning.net

Parents out of town + waking up at like 1 PM + IHOP + driving by a bridge 3 times to see if the guys standing next to it were in This Providence + playing tic tac toe on a water bottle while Reign of Kindo played + discovering The Higher + seeing and meeting This Providence + "You're shoes are filled with goodness" = amazingly awesome day. =)

This happened back in November, by the way. xD

Sorry.

It's oh-so-possible I may get to see Motion City Soundtrack after all. AND THAT'D BE SO FLIPPING AWESOME.

I love you, Anna's parents. SERIOUSLY.

I actually finished my homework before 8 today! THAT'S LIKE A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

I'm finished.

I'm trying not to over use smileys, 'cause I do that SOOO much. Like every other sentence. I'm addicted! *sobsob*

HONDA CIVIC TOUR = SUCK!!!.

I hate the people that schedule the Honda Civic Tour.

EVERYONE SKIPS MY CITY.

I'd pay $200 a ticket to see The Hush Sound AND Motion City Soundtrack [!] AND Panic! at the Disco [I refuse to drop the !.]

I hate this.

And I refuse to buy Panic!'s new album, because of it.

*sigh*

I honestly cried for almost an hour when I saw the tour dates.

And you suck, Phantom Planet.

Cats are Stupid

Listening to: Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack
What I Should Be Doing: Reading Act 4 of Macbeth or SLEEPING!!!
I'm Also: Talking to Allie

The Hot Topic I go to smells like babies.

I was looking at a magazine in Hot Topic with my friends, and I saw a little comic [like one panel] in the corner, and I automatically thought "That looks like Mitch Clem's comics!" And then I looked for the artist name and it was Mitch Clem.

And then I realized that I have absolutely NO life. :D

My friends and I spent like 6-7 hours at the mall today, and my legs HURT SO BADLY.

Even though I don't know if I can even go to the HCT, I've been listening to my MCS playlist OVER AND OVER, 'cause I want to memorize all the words to all the songs. =P

You'retheemptinessthewholeworldsingsatnight... [Hold Me Down - Motion City Soundtrack]

I love them more than I should. :)

Bass = Fishies or Guitars?

Listening to: Beer by Psychostick
What I Should Be Doing: Working on Driver's Ed/Nothing. =)
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, reading Sims 2 stories, playing Solitaire, and happydancing because I finally tell the difference between Jesse and Matt from MCS.

I don't get why people think I can write... Or why they think I'm creative, or have artistic talent, or any of that crud.

'Cause I can't write, and I'm not creative, and I don't have artistic talent. xD

But people insist on like pretending I do...

The Cat Empire's Australian and therefore awesome. xP

I want to go to the mall for no reason.

I think my dad's missing the Super Bowl so my babysitter doesn't have to take my sister to softball tryouts.

GO ME. I know who's who in Motion City Soundtrack before. Woo. =P

It only took me like four days of looking at pictures. :

Uh.

The Biggest Thing I've Ever Lost Was My Guitar

Listening to: On Again/Off Again by Riverboat Gamblers
What I Should Be Doing: Filling out my History QQS, rewriting my History timed writing, reading Macbeth for English, working on Chem review questions
I'm Also: Rating all my unrated music on iTunes [I'm OCD about that. xD]

I forgot to turn iTunes off shuffle, so I'm getting a-mazing songs like Unexpected Places by The Academy Is... and Be Aggressive by Powerspace. Not that the songs I haven't rated aren't amazing, 'cause they are. =) Mostly.

I love commas and semi-colons and apostrophes and I'm kind of a grammar freak. It's sad.

It always makes me happy to meet people that like Motion City Soundtrack, Powerspace, The Higher, This Providence, or The Format. I know very very few people that like them. I know one person that might like MCS, two people that like Powerspace 'cause I introduced them to The Kicks of Passion, and no one that likes The Higher, This Prov, or The Format. Even though I only know like nine songs by The Format.

My iTunes has to be sorted by artist, or I get annoyed. All the songs have to be rated. Every song has to have album art, whether that's something I threw together or the actual CD cover. Every song has to have an album and genre, even if that means I make them up. All my songs have to be properly capitalized. All my non-country songs have to be on my Other playlist, and all my non-other songs have to be on my country playlist. Simple Plan is the only exception, and they don't belong on any playlist, because I always skip their songs anyway. On-The-Go playlists can't exist.

There can't be more than four Internet Explorer windows open at one time, though I tend to have at least four tabs open in one. I hate even numbers, because there's no middle number. People must wash their hands before touching my laptop. Sticky things make me angry. My CDs and games must stay in their case, unless they're being used. I will never ever flush a CD to clean it, though I will use toothpaste to fix the scratches. My room can't be too warm. Juicyfruit is for blowing bubbles and snapping gum, and Stride is just for chewing. My CDs must be ordered chronologically by when I bought/received them. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are important, even on the internet. My toenails can only get so long. I use earbuds to listen to music at school/on the airplane, but I use old clunky headphones that cover my ears at home. All of my headphones, USB cords, cameras, chargers, and Gameboys belong in the red basket on top of the unplugged stereo next to my bed. Sharpies belong in the mug with the pencils that have run out of lead. I only talk to Allie about family issues, and I don't know why. The flash is almost always off on my camera. My black school tie must be returned to the same pocket as my iPod when I take it off. I don't throw anything away, instead giving everything a specific place in my room and keeping it there. Peeling things must be taped over.
You'd think that I'd be like really organized. xD

I'm REALLY REALLY not. =)

I really like my copy of the periodic table of elements for some reason.

Ecce Romani!

Listening to: Point of Extinction by Motion City Soundtrack

I haven't posted on this in like years. xD It's mostly because of school and not being online much this weekend. That's because of watching two and a half movies with my sister and babysitter with a ton of junk food while my parents were gone this weekend. =P Anyways.

I have two tests tomorrow. Chemistry and Latin. I'm kinda worried about both. I think I'll do okay on Chem, but I know Latin's gonna SUCK since the teacher doesn't teach us. -.-

I got the new Motion City Soundtrack CD today. Even If It Kills Me is pretty awesome. xD It technically comes out tomorrow, but the CD store had it today at 4, so I bought it. I like it a lot. =)

And I can't see Powerspace, which REALLY stinks. I almost went, but my mom thinks there will be "bad people" at the bar where they're playing, so... Wah. Not fun. x(

Yeah, I'm too lazy and don't have enough time at the moment to write anymore so I'm leaving. Back to reading Beowulf. =P

YOU LOOKA LAKA MAN FROM CIWWAF!

Listening to: Stand Down by Echoing August

I'm currently writing a review for American Graffiti, which, by the way, we had to go to like four movie stores to find. It took us like thirty minutes. Which stinks. xD Either all the copies were out or there was only a tape, and our VCR died a few years ago. =) It's a pretty good movie, though really confusing, and I still don't know some of the character's names. I watched it with my mom, who hadn't seen it, and she missed a few scenes and it was almost impossible to explain them to her since so much happens so quickly. :P I liked it though. Now if I can finish up this movie review...

School's boring. And icky. And I hate clubs. But the french teacher looks like this guy from Cute Is What We Aim For. So that makes me happy. And I know a kid named Jesus, which TOTALLY makes my life. Though he seems kinda annoying. Oh well.

I can't wait for the new Motion City Soundtrack CD to come outtt. I really wanna buy it. I should probably find out the name, 'cause I've forgotten, and check to see which day it comes out. [I've heard the 15th and the 18th.] I like the few songs I've heard... I can't wait to check it out though. Wish they were coming to my city, not just the one an hour away.

Which reminds me. I was gonna go to a Powerspace concert on a Friday night, and I was really excited about it, but it turns out I'm going to my dad's that day so I can't go... I'm really upset that I can't go, 'cause it'd be really neat to see them live before they get too big. *sigh* Ah well... Hopefully I'll have another opportunity. =(

Yeah. I'm gonna go since it's like almost midnight and I'm not done with homework and I totally should be. Ah well. Tomorrow's gonna suck, but I'm SO glad it'll be Friday. *dances* SOOOOO glad. I've been waiting for Friday all week.

The Razor Blades and Candy Tour, Featuring Six Minutes to Monday!

Listening to Embrace the Flatline by Until Wings Fail

I tried to 'ska dance' today. I'm awful at it. It's fun though. xD I was trying to dance like this guy... http://youtube.com/watch?v=b5PIeeQmRCU It's also calling skanking, I guess? It's hard to do. :) My shoe flew off at one point and almost beheaded my friend, too... xD I bet it's easier to do when there's music playing...

Anyway. I need to go to Blockbuster and rent American Graffiti for my Digital Video class. Steve's going to take me later today. I should really be doing my English homework, 'cause we have a socratic seminar tomorrow and I haven't done the opening or closing questions... Ah well. I'm listening to music and reading comics instead.

Earlier, I watched some old video about how the 'Ska Brothers' cheated on YouTube. I'd never heard of them before, so I checked out their website, and they're really annoying/full of themselves. At least, they seem that way. I read their 'Background' and it makes me want to hit them, even if it's supposed to be funny. [And it's not funny, by the way.]

Isn't Confucius's Mom an amazing band name? Today, my friends and I planned a fake tour for our four amazing fake bands. Yeah, I love AP World History.

I'm excited about The Academy Is... concert, but there's some others I wanna go to also. Fall Out Boy, Motion City Soundtrack, Powerspace... I have to convince my parents and my friends' parents about FOB and MCS, since they're kind of in a different city on school nights... But all I need to do for Powerspace is find a friend to go with me. xD

A screamo version of Bingo would TOTALLY make my life.

The Poor Groom's Bride Is A RYAN!

Listening to: Is There No Truth in Beauty? by Just Surrender

I have yet to find a blog just rambling about life. Every blog I see has a purpose. What's the fun in that? =P I actually like to read about other people's lives... Ah well.

I bought the self-titled album from This Providence today. I'm glad I did. I like it a lot... I've only listened to it through once so I don't really have favorites right now, but I especially like My Beautiful Rescue and A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. I adore Card House Dreamer, but I had the song before I decided I wanted the CD, so I'm not counting it. :) I would really like to see This Providence live sometime... Tour, please! You, too, Powerspace and The Used and Motion City Soundtrack!

Anyway. Hunter and I made like a bazillion awesome sped up lip synching videos tonight. It was fun. Technically, this is Saturday, so it was yesterday, but I really don't care that much. =D Then we went upstairs and I sang [a.k.a. screamed songs I knew] for my parents. My throat officially hurts. There's only so many times that you can scream-sing I Write Sins Not Tragedies at the top of your lungs before you feel like passing out. I have to say though, screamo Bingo's WAAAY harder.

Today in Digital Video, I showed the footage I got for my partner's 30 second introduction video in class, and when your footage's projected on this huge screen, you tend to think it's like awful. At least I do. Same deal when I had to show my photographs on the projector for a class I took through some random college in 8th grade. Anyway. My partner was basically rocking out in her car and dancing and lip synching. There's more, but it's kinda complicated. For my vid, a bird poops on my shoulder and then I slip and roll down a hill by accident. :D Yup.

I'm writing way too much, so I'm gonna shut up now. =)