Operator, I Can't Hold Much Longer

I was listening to Nobody Puts Baby in The Corner, and my tummy just got warm. Like, happy warm on the inside. Patrick's voice makes so dang happy for no effing reason.

I miss those sugar cigarettes. Y'know, that candy you buy in convenience stores, with the red tips?

Sometimes I hate how much music influences my moods.

It's quiet now, and I'm sad. Not crying-sad, just calm-sad. It's my default mood or something.

I don't want to do my math homework, but I have guitar tomorrow. Wednesday night's the only time I do my math homework at home.

Pencils are fun to chew on...

I'm plannin - never mind, I can't do anything this weekend.

Next weekend, I'm planning on walking to the CD store [with someone maybe? I wonder if I could bring my dog. Does Brent let dogs in there...?] to buy/order a Something Corporate CD. And then I'm going to the bookstore across the street to try to find Invisible Monsters, 'cause I'm a loser and want to read that. I blame Motion City Soundtrack, but whatever.

let'sgooncemoredowntothedancefloor

Powerspace Snap Bracelet is the only whole song I heard by Powerspace on Saturday. I'm glad I left though, 'cause listening to this makes my stomach drop, while their other songs are still good.

I'm so so sick of the YouTube community.

I just realized I'm typing this in "Edit HTML" mode. God, I miss 8th grade computer class.

I realized the other day that I talk to myself because I want someone to talk to. And that makes me feel so empty.

I had sushi last night, and for about six hours after dinner, I could taste it in my mouth. I should've gone with the shrimp in those california rolls.

I wish I understood the term 'time management' and that my videos turned out the way I wanted.

I should do math instead of sitting here looking at the blank paper.

Why is it that on CDs, the non-singles are always better than the singles...?

heymisterDJyou'vegottaputarecordonyeah

So tired all the time.

MUSIC.

www.Jango.com

Overdramatic Kids + Internet = The YouTube Community

Listening to: Lullaby by The Cat Empire
What I Should Be Doing: Doing homework, sleeping
I'm Also: Trying to upload a video to YouTube and replying to comments

I chew on things I'm not s'posed to chew on. xD

I overreacted, and I still love Powerspace. I'm gonna try to see them next time they come [which may be never, but whatever], 'cause yesterday was just bad, and I think that's why I was so angry/disappointed.

My back hurts.

SCHOOL SUCKS.

I should be doing homework right now but I'm not. Don't you feel special? :)

Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate are both really awesome, and I wish I had figured this out earlier.

Powerspace Makes Me Want to Kick 11 Year Olds and Cuss People Out

Powerspace fucking sucks.

Like, they were one of my favorite bands EVER, and I left after ONE song.

BAD THINGS:
- My heels hurt like fuck from standing on them/tapping my foot for two hours.
- I wasted $15 on a ticket to see them, and $30 for my friends' [who didn't go] tickets.
- The girl I spit on jumped ON my feet about six times.
- I scuffed my awesome shoes [the converse with like seven signatures].
- This REALLY hairy guy stood in front of me, and I couldn't see anything for like ten minutes.
- I learned that Powerspace is a band full of fucking losers [for example: they spent like five minutes talking about leaving on the same street as the bands they were touring with, the same block as Kanye West, and having barbecues with them all].
- Simply listening to Powerspace made me want to 1. kick the girl in front of me really hard and 2. cry.
- I smell like cigarette smoke.
- People TOUCHED me.
- I tried to take pictures during the first song [they sucked, but I thought that maybe they'd get better and that I should just take pictures while I waited for them to NOT suck], and the fucking 11 year olds in front of me were all "LET'S HOLD OUR CAMERAS ON OUR HEADS AND TAKE PICTURES EVEN THOUGH WE'RE AT THE VERY FRONT!!!"
- I haven't been this mad at people in a really long time.
- I wasted $30 on a hoodie that I'll probably never wear, because Powerspace FUCKING SUCKS.
- Tom WHATEVER dyed his hair BLOND.
- Whenever a band came on, the 11 year olds would scream for the lead singer or the one they thought was "hott" and NONE of the other guys. It's a BAND, losers. IT'S ABOUT THE MUSIC.
- My tummy hurt and I honestly thought I was going to vomit about four times.
- While I was waiting for Powerspace to come on, I chewed on my water bottle until my mouth tasted like blood.
- The fucking 11 year olds constantly took pictures of each other and BLINDED THE HELL OUT OF ME.
- I wasted 2 hours and 45 minutes of my LIFE.
- I honestly just want to punch Alec CWHATEVERYOURNAMESUCKS in the face.
- I have one less poster on my wall.

- I'm SWEATY.

GOOD THINGS:
- Their merch guy/tour manager was nice, and he was wearing a This Providence T-shirt.
- The hoodie I spent 30 fucking dollars on is cool looking.
- I was introduced to/saw Fairview.
- I got to yell at a girl that hit a woman with a water bottle. ["HEY BITCH, YOU HIT A LADY. I MEAN, LIKE, AN ADULT. NOT COOL. NOT COOL."]
- I got to spit on a girl that was friends with the girl that hit the lady with a water bottle.
- I took two pictures of the REALLY hairy guy, and he moved.
- I got to growl at a guy because he took my spot.

Now that I've deleted Powerspace from my iTunes, my favorite bands section on Facebook, my favorite bands section on YouTube, my favorite bands section on absolutepunk, thrown my phone at the wall, thrown the fucking $30 hoodie at the hangers in my closet, and torn up my ticket and my wristband, I'm contemplating selling The Kicks of Passion back to Brent.

Hopefully he'll take such a sucky CD back.

I doubt it. It's just too filled with SUCK.

eh.

Listening to: the fan on my laptop
What I Should Be Doing: texting my friend about the concert tonight
I'm Also: trying not to cry, trying to decide what to do

I've been waiting for tonight for like two months, and now that it's here, I don't even want to go to the concert.

I know from experience that concerts by yourself aren't really that fun.

Today has been long.

Birthday party, funeral, concert?

I'll just feel awkward, 'cause I'll be there by myself.

Plus I don't know whether my friends are going to want to do something else tonight, if they need a distraction.

Poop.

Listening to: Bob by NOFX
What I Sh - It's a 3 day weekend.
I'm Also: Talking to Anna, updating Facebook, and thinking about going to play The Sims 2.

Three day weekends officially suck. =)

Yesterday was good, but not like "yesterday was so good!" More like a tiny bit better than average. I mean, I got to see Lindsey, so that's cool. And I got to go to one of my favorite events in my city so that was cool. But I wasn't even happy last night like I am when it's been a good day.

Harvey Danger's awesome. At least their CD Little by Little is. Well, I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I really like the stuff I have heard. It's free; go download it from their site.

Tomorrow's gonna be worse than today, and today was pretty awful. :)

My mom told me earlier "to make the most of the weekend," but I won't. I never do. I always end up doing nothing and wishing I had and sulking and being enormously unhappy.

I feel like I'm never happy.

I put the songs from The Sims 2 on my iPod and I haven't listened to one of them [Look Alive] since December 28, 2006. Beautiful, isn't it?

I had a ton of junk food yesterday and today, but now I want like ice cream.

I think my parents are worried about me.

"Ainslee, Erase That Right Now!"

Listening to: It's Not Over by Secondhand Serenade
What I Should Be Doing: Charging my phone or sleeping
I'm Also: Talking to Allie, yawning, playing Solitaire, hiding from people, writing

I'm s'posed to go to the mall tomorrow with my buddies. =) I hope we do, 'cause I haven't seen Lindsey and Lauren since before finals. And that sucks. So. Yes.

Dang it, I'm going to go charge my phone.

Secondhand Serenade's like my new favorite band, except really not. I've just been listening to slow[er]/calm songs recently.

Sometimes I worry about society. There are really good examples of what's wrong with society on YouTube. There are also really good examples of what's awesome about society on YouTube.

Umri.

Some people are just so brilliant that it just makes me enormously happy. Those people just make my day. They're usually the hysterically funny people too for some reason.

Supposed To Be There Too [Mike Park] = Brilliance. The beginning reminds me of a world in Kingdom Hearts. I can't remember which one it is though.

Poop.

I swear I'm actually like four years old.

Okay. Sure, breast cancer needs to be cured. BUT so does every other kind of cancer. What about the people with stomach cancer? The ones with tumors in their brains? What do we do with them? Ignore them while we raise money for the people with breast cancer? It's great that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure has raised awareness and money. But seriously. How many times have you heard about lung cancer in the past month?

Poof.

Wegetbyjustfinehereonminimumwage.Ifloveisalabor,I'llslavetilltheend.

Diane Wilson came to talk to our school the other day. She was interesting to listen to, but I'm not sure I agree. I really don't know much about what she was talking about though, so maybe that's why. Uh. She talked about going on a hunger strike for 4 months, and NOBODY got that. For the next two days, EVERYONE was talking about how it was possible to not eat for four months. Someone said they switched out. Which I think is stupid and not impressive at all. Someone else said they just drank liquids. Which is more impressive unless the liquids are milkshakes and smoothies. Another person said they just ate bread and water. Which is not impressive, because they're still eating.

Eh. I don't understand myself.


ButI'msotiredofdaysthatfeellikethenight.

titles are overrated. so's capitilization.

I miss Lindsey and Lauren and Manola all at once.

And I want biscuits from KFC.

When I say I worry about society, I'm not excluding myself.

Living in Fast Forward = Not Fun.

Listening to: Class Reunion (That Used to Be Us) by Lonestar
What I Should Be Doing: Driver's Ed or Homework or sleeping
I'm Also: Reading fan fiction and backing up the files on my computer

I don't know what's wrong with me. Today, I wanted to cry about four times for absolutely no reason. I didn't cry any of the times, but I really wanted to.

You know when you get into somebody else's car and it just smells different? I want that feeling right now.

I kind of hate myself this year. And I - I just want to go back to last year.

I start listening to Kenny Chesney when I kind of want to cry.

I'm oh-so-jealous of The Academy Is... I just want to hug them all. =( I don't even know why, I'm just like 'YOU'RE MY HERO!' Eh.

Powerspace in 13 days. I should really figure out what their name's are... *shame*

What Exactly IS Castor Oil Anyway...?

Listening to: The fan on my computer
What I Should Be Doing: Washing my face
I'm Also: Playing Solitaire, reading fan fiction, and checking my e-mail

Anna's sick and didn't come to school today, and Whitney left during lunch, because she has the flu. Anna's not sure what she has, but it's possible she also has the flu.

I don't want the flu. =(

I feel awful for them both though. Anna sounds absolutely miserable, and Whitney's turning 16 this Sunday. So that seriously sucks, man.

Uh... I'm EXHAUSTED right now. Like, I'm half-asleep as I type this.

I'm wearing headphones, but I haven't listened to anything in like five hours...?

Today, in Latin, I learned that castor oil may have been made of stuff from beaver testicles? But maybe not. So, ew.

Okay. I'm off to wash my face and then I'm gonna try to write a tiny bit and then I'm going to bed.

So, Is This What You Wanted? Too Bad, It's What You Got.

Listening to: You're Making It Come Alive by My Favorite Highway
What I Should Be Doing: B.S.ing my assignment for digital video, studying for my WHAP/Algebra 2 tests, doing Algebra 2 test corrections, doing my Chem problems, sleeping
I'm Also: Talking to Anna and Whitney, wishing YouTube would load, trying not to cry, and missing Allie

I kind of hate life right now.

I've sworn off all mainstream music that I don't already know about. [I'm still gonna listen to FOB, but I'm not going to check out Cobra Starship or any new bands.]

I can't talk about music to anyone. Ever. It only leads to crappy crappy situations.

Plane rides suck.

So does digital video.

And life.

I'm getting really sick of everything.

Every single one of my classes is pointless. Seriously. I can't think of ONE thing I'll actually use EVER.

Guitar class has become more like a therapy session.

I hate crying, but I've done it so much this year... I miss last year so much it's not even funny.

I hate musically diverse people.

This weekend was awful, especially because we had Friday off. I just slept through it and then went to the airport.

Complete crap.

I want three CDs, and I'm going to have to walk down to the CD store alone to order them.

I spent the last of my iTunes money on Thursday night.

The more I think about it, the worse I feel.

I guess I should stop thinking. I mean, that's how I got through two funerals in two weeks.

I want to go to my concert. I'll be hanging out with two of my best friends and seeing one of my favorite bands all at once, so it should be good. It better be.

I'm sick of feeling so alone.

My mom blames everything on my dad, but... I don't think that's the problem. I like my dad better than her.

Why was I so happy last year? I don't even remember being happy before that.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers suck.

I - I need to do my homework.

But I don't know how to correct Algebra 2, do any of the Chem problems I have left, B.S. digital video, or study for history.

So.

Yeah.

Stalker flight attendants are really scary.

Where's the Fan Remote When You Need It? *mental breakdown*

I'm Listening to: ...But What Will They Say? by This Providence
What I Should Be Doing: Sleeping.
I'm Also: Playing Solitaire, reading fanfiction, and replying to comments on my YouTube videos

I have one video with 49,487 views at the moment. It also has 205 comments. It's been up for about a year and two months, and I'm still getting comments on it... It's kinda annoying, but hey, at least people are watching it, right? xD

One.

I love getting feedback on my videos, especially from insanely brilliant people. Seriously, man. I didn't know people were these dang awesome. :)

Two.

It's refreshing to find people that don't use capitalization/punctation AND are actually intelligent. It's amazing, actually. Restores my faith in society.

My alt key's falling off still.

I think Slash is overrated, and I'm addicted to absolutepunk.net. Even though I don't post. I just read the forums... Sad? Oh yes.

My sisters just came in, covered me with circular stickers, and then left.

Uh. Yeah.

In the dreams I've had lately, I text my friend Lauren. It's weird. Maybe I feel like texting her?

2:27 - 2:36 of Poetic Tragedy is BRILLIANT. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT.

Ugh. I can't stop saying brilliant...

Bang, Bang, Shoot 'Em Up, Yeah

Listening to: 30 seconds of Nine in the Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco
What I Should Be Doing: Washing my face, changing into pajamas, and going to bed
I'm Also: Wishing my lips weren't so chapped

I want to read, but I feel like I never have time.

It's great, because I can't figure out how to buy Panic!'s new single, so I'm listening to like the preview. *dull look* I'm just like clicking 'Nine in the Afternoon - Single' like a billion times and it keeps taking me to the album pre-order page. Go die, iTunes.

I'm STARVING for some reason. Seriously. It's not like I didn't eat dinner.

Sorry, NOFX, I can't afford your song right now. I promise I'll buy it later. Maybe. I lied. I can afford it. But now I kind of want to buy The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin instead of Bob by NOFX. Ah well. GAWD, iTUNES! MUST YOU BE SO STUPID!? Just buy the freaking songs. *pout* ... I've been sitting here messing with iTunes for like 40 minutes, and I can't effing buy the songs. FINALLY. Apple's pretty screwed up, man.

ANYWAY. Today, this guy with crazy sideburns and long hair that my parents randomly know [...?] thought my brother was a girl. It was SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS. Though Hunter was NOT happy. =) I think he heard me and my sister laughing when he was leaving and he came back to apologize and was all "It's cool that you have long hair."

Uh. Yeah. :)

*gasp!* Only 2 smileys!

Hopefully I'm getting better at that.

I'm trying to get into smaller bands [yeah, again], so I looked at what lists of 'indie bands.' There were a few I was like "Uh, not indie" and a few I was like "GOD THIS SUCKS," but I'm not very far in, and there've been at least three good ones. So. Maybe it'll get easier.

One of the bands didn't sell their songs on iTunes, and it's not on Limewire, so I dunno where to get it, and I like it. =(

Three smileys.

The title's Anna's fault, because I keep buying Cobra Starship's random singles. They're just that amazing. Well, the ones I've listened to. Which isn't many. But she loves the band, so I'm assuming they're that amazing. Yeah. Uh. *dances*